This is [not] the day [anymore]

I turned the page of my diary earlier only to see that today, this very Monday, is the day I should've started back at work. Only, I'm not going back. Today marks the official end of my 52 weeks maternity leave. The time has flown and I can't quite believe it's here already! I've meant to write about it before now, but the timing seems appropriate today.

The instant Isaac was handed to me my Mummy instincts overwhelmed my senses and I knew in my heart that I couldn't possibly, no way ever, nuh uh EVER give him to someone else to look after before he goes to school. Just the thought of it made my soul hurt. Paying someone else to look after my baby? It strikes me as absurd. They won't appreciate his development like I will. And they won't be his Mother. Period.

I reasoned with myself that lots of people send their kids to nursery and they're all fine, but I just can't do it. I figure if I did go back to work I'd be part time anyway so that he wouldn't be at nursery all day (full day = 8am-6pm, half day = 9am-3pm). I know if I worked we'd be eligible for some financial assistance from the government to help cover the cost of childcare, but (having worked it out previously for when we thought Simon's youngest might live with us for a bit) we'd still be only slightly better off financially. It'd be different, I think, if I had family close by who were prepared to and were able have him during the day, but I don't. So that scuppers that one! I've thought about child minders and have looked at several nurseries which were nice, but something inside me feels that the right thing for Isaac is staying home with me. I don't want to get a piece of paper telling me when my son's nappy was changed or when he ate or what. I want to be there and experience all of it myself! As goes the cliché, I'll never get the time back, so why should I lose it in the first place?

I'm a great believer in the family unit and that parents are as much, if not more responsible for their child's education than the state. It therefore makes sense to me that during the early years of his life I teach Isaac about life and human interaction (and other stuff, obviously) to prepare him as best I can for what lies ahead while taking time to develop the existing bond  between us to hopefully give him a secure basis from which to spring into his own independence. I think academic pressure starts too early in this country, way before kids (particularly boys) are ready for it.

So, we've decided that I will be a stay at home Mum until he's of school age. I don't think any of this will be a piece of cake by any means! Just before he goes to school we'll probably do a few mornings or days a week in the toddler group at the school we'd like him to go to so we both get used to not being with each other so much. 

Until then...we're going to take life as it comes and have as much fun as possible!

Which shouldn't be too hard with this cheeky young scamp!