Feeling completely shattered

So I know that pregnancy takes it out of you, but I wasn't prepared for the whole new levels of tiredness i.e.: unable to get up to eat, sleeping all day and all night. Work can't be happy with the amount of time I've had off so far, but what can I do? I actually fell asleep today, at my desk. They sent me home. What more can I say? When I can sleep at night it's great! I'm usually getting up to go to the toilet and then find myself lying awake for about 2 1/2 hours after. Then there's the weird as hell dreams that wake me up in fits of shivers/sweats. The thing is, they're not the usual "I had a weird dream last night" in that it was a random, disjointed effort jumping all over the place; no, they're full on epic tales of what seems like history of my life which is very strange - I certainly hope they aren't. Another weird thing is I remember most of them unlike regular weird dreams where they're gone the instant I wake up and all I'm left with is the memory that it existed in my brain that night.

I really hope that I feel better soon and I start glowing or whatever it is that pregnant ladies are supposed to do! Everyone seems to think that the first trimester is the worst and that once it's over the second one is better energy wise & then the third one gets worse again. We'll see.

1st midwife appointment

Today I went to see my midwife for my booking session. Simon and I had dutifully filled in our forms as instructed at the pre-booking session. I think this confused her slightly and apparently not many people do! I've never had a problem with peeing in pots, but for some reason this time I just couldn't do it! I drank a pint of water before I left to go over to the midwife (over the road from my house) and all I could muster was about 1/4 centimetre in the damn tube! Sod's law, but she said it's OK and to take another one next time. She's lovely and her support worker has the same birthday as me! She was quite new though (the support worker) and rather nervous about taking blood, which is fine - everybody's got to learn! I did end up being stuck three times because my vein gave up halfway through the 4th tube. Then she missed on the other arm so the midwife took the blood from the original vein. Now I have 3 bruises! Not what I expected from going to see the midwife, but hey, it's been a while since I had to part with my blood for whatever reason. Just cos I have lots of tattoos doesn't mean I'm a fan of giving away my blood!

Everything is normal - yay! She says I can stay with them for the duration; there aren't any family diseases/illnesses that require her to refer me up to the hospital etc, which is great. She did say that, according to my BMI, I'm pre-obese. Which means I'm prone to diabetes! Er...I really don't think so. I know I'm a little over weight according to those stupid height/weight chart things, but show me someone who's in line with it with my height & build and I'll bet they look alien! When my Mum had got down to her "correct" weight she was a size ten & resembled a skeleton!  Sure I'd love to be 11 stone, but I don't think it'd look attractive by any means, not that flab is attractive, but I'm used to my flab. LOL! Anyhoo...I digress, she said that would be the only thing they'd want to keep an eye on at the hospital when I go for scans etc.

Speaking of which, my first scan is on 12th February. I've opted for the NT+ scan which checks for Down's Syndrome and also requires...you guessed it...another blood test. Hurrah!

I spoke to her about the ever increasing tiredness and the time I've had to take off work. She said, and I quote "it's all quite normal my love, they'll just have to accept it". Hmm. Don't think they like it very much, but hey, what can I do?

Pre-booking session

We went to our pre-booking session today. Essentially it was a group session where a midwife support worker runs through the basics (no yummy cheese (i.e.: brie, stilton etc), no pate because of the mould (there's mould in pate?? I'm so glad I'm vegetarian!!) and the like. She also gives us a feck load of forms to fill in so the midwife doesn't have to do it in the booking session. It was quite a lot to take in, but...I am a geek and have read up a lot already so most of it was old news. I bought Your Pregnancy Week By Week by Lesley Regan. It's really helpful and totally non-patronising, unlike some of the other books I've browsed in Waterstones (such delights as "let's face it, there's nothing much you can do while you're pregnant so you may as well eat!" er...no). I thought it was all rather marvellous until I read the section on pain during labour and felt pure panic wash over me right down to my toes. All I can say is, man it's gonna hurt like hell. As much as I'd like to feel nothing I don't think I would want an epidural. How much of an experience can that be - being told when to push because you don't know? I'm sure there will be a load more bumph thrown at me by midwives etc about my options for pain relief, different types of birth etc. Bring on the raspberry leaf tea!

Talking of bumph, there wasn't half a lot of adverts in one of the packs she gave us today. One thing I found really grim was a little card saying "the first time you saw me" with a space designed for the first scan image which is very twee and quite a lovely idea if it didn't have Pampers plastered all over it. Even Mastercard are at it! There's much encouragement to join "the best Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting Club - Bounty" which, as far as I can tell, means you get a load of free samples of baby products full of horrible chemicals, most of which I have no intention of using! Like...Pampers. Uh...LANDFILLS ANYONE?? So anyway, I might give that a miss and speak to people I meet along the way.

The next appointment, by which time we must have done our homework, bring on the forms, is 20th January. Hopefully Simon's work aren't stingy about giving him the time off. Hmph. Stupid work.

Oh my god it's actually happened!

I've had this blog for a while now...and have written very little in it; it would seem I was not as inspired as I'd thought plus life has been busy what with moving, bathroom building etc. Now it seems life's gonna get a whole lot more hectic because after what seemed like forever, but was actually only 2 & 1/2 months, Simon and I are pregnant! Not a great deal to report other than I feel like I should be sleeping - ALL THE TIME! We both agree that we don’t want to know our baby’s gender until the birth. All (7 of) the grandparents are very pleased and excited, but other than family we’ve decided to keep it quiet until the 12 week scan. I’m trying to get a midwife appointment to book in for stuff…like scans etc. I don’t really know what else to write just yet other than my mind is spinning with baby business! So…that’s it for now!