Reflection

Attractive!

I was looking at the pictures of pregnant me the other day. It seems so long ago now. My goodness I was HUGE! MASSEEEEEEEEEEVE! It also seems very weird to think that the Wiggler (as he was then known) is the same Little Man that we hold so very dear today. I remember lying on our hotel room bed in Washington DC watching my belly move around and pop out as the Wiggler kicked and Wiggled around in there, wondering to whom I would give birth.

It's quite difficult for me to link the two and realise them as the same being. It's even more difficult for me to get my head around the fact that I actually grew him in my uterus, from scratch, and that he's perfect in every way. It's such a massive thing to comprehend - a truly justified use for the word awesome. It is awesome, though. Birth is awesome; the creation of life...is awesome. It fills one with awe [and wonder ;-)].

I watch him sometimes and marvel at the tiny veins in his skin, carrying his bloody around his circulatory system. I think about his gnashers growing in his mouth as we speak and then think about him speaking, which is a little weird for me just yet. I think about his digestive system and wonder if he'll choose to continue being vegan once he's old enough to decide. I think about his little lungs taking in oxygen and wonder if he'll ever smoke. I couldn't bear it if he did. I think I'd be indignant, that he would sully something so perfect. But then I would be a hypocrite, I'm sorry Mum. I think about his heart, pumping his blood around his body, carrying the oxygen from him lungs and the nutrients from the food he eats and the milk he drinks, all the time worrying that I'm not eating enough of/feeding him the right things to nourish him properly.

I didn't know what worry was until I had my Wiggler. I accept that I can only do my best and live in hope that it is good enough. Much will be up to him; when that time comes I must take a back seat and let him live as he chooses. I hope I can give him a balanced start and the love and encouragement he needs to be healthy and happy until he (maybe) has Wigglers of his own. Then he can learn what worry is :-D

From me to you

To my darling little boy

This time 6 months ago we were in hospital - you in your weird little plastic tank thing & me swooning over you like a love-struck teenager, albeit creakily - those staples hurt y'know!

How far we've come in these 6 months! We've had tears - so many tears! All a consequence of absolute love for our most precious of gifts. We've had laughter, too. So much laughter! You make us chuckle almost as much as you like to chuckle yourself - master of comedy. It really is incredible to see you develop and learn about the world about you, always curious as to your next move. Only a few days ago you were delighted to learn that your feet could be ticklish and tickled by you! Your fascination with the simplest of objects required that I see through your eyes - how new and exciting everything is again!

You melt my heart every day with your beautiful grin and gorgeous eyes. Your funny little open mouthed kisses on my cheek  make everything else distant and unimportant. Knowing they are intended solely for me, your mother, is the greatest bounty. You are so small and fragile my son, so tiny and helpless. Your need for me is intoxicating.

The bond between us is overwhelming to say the least and I do feel its strain at times. BUT, Isaac Andrew Wiggler Turner, you are the best thing I have ever done. Nothing can change my love for you, nor would I wish it so. You have filled my days with such peaks and troughs! Only a parent could appreciate this kind of devoted undulating emotion. I wouldn't miss this for the world.

That Daddy and I made you from scratch is a daily marvel for me; such perfection. I look forward to each and every minute with you, Isaac.

Love and so much more

Mummy

x

Toys, TV and technology

This started out as a post just about toys, but then I started to write it and discovered that I seem to lump modern toys, TV and technology in the same category, making it difficult to write about one without spilling into the other. Much of this is stuff I hadn't even considered until I had a son of my own, apart from the TV business.

So *draws in deep breath* here we go...

While surfing the Mummy-blogosphere during  morning nap-time a few days ago I came across Dear Baby and got quite caught up in  the beautiful Everly's little San Francisco world with her Mummy & Daddy. One of Melissa's posts in particular resonated with me and my beliefs and succinctly covered everything I believe about children's toys. Essentially she talks about her

"... desire to avoid the plastic, buzzing, blinking crap that our society calls “toys” these days. While I don’t want to deny my daughter anything,  I can’t help but want to think of ways to give her a full, enjoyable youth without drowning her in a room full of mass produced junk that she’ll grow tired of quickly. ... Will our family think we are crazy if we asked them to forgo presents at her birthday party and instead give her their undivided time?"

I've had thoughts about what people will think if we ask them to not buy "regular" kids toys. I don't want to seem fussy and ungrateful;  I completely appreciate the intention is harmless and filled with love, but we'd rather Isaac had toys that encourage his imaginative play than a set of adult created guidelines for him to follow. Or even instead of toys he spent more time with the people who love him. Plus it seems difficult enough to try and instil a sense of value into children as it is, what with media shoving the latest shiny, bright toy into everything they can and other children boasting about how many presents they got from Santa in a playground battle of one-upmanship. In my experience it isn't even what they got from whom, it's how many and how big. There is also a limit as to how much we can store and in a bid to limit our consumerism I'd rather we have less that is appreciated than more that is not. I guess I'm loosely following the attachment parenting ideals of having him with me pretty much everywhere I go, apart from when he sleeps (because the dude likes his own space). He can nearly always at least see me. Because of this he doesn't have a great deal of toys and doesn't seem to be missing out because of it. He has play a play gym, but he doesn't spend long on it - he's more interested in what I'm doing anyway! I quote the same bit of this article from the Guardian (which I recommend you read in full if you're at all interested in what I've written so far) that Melissa does in her post about toys:

"They [children] get overwhelmed and over-stimulated and cannot concentrate on any one thing long enough to learn from it so they just shut down. Too many toys means they are not learning to play imaginatively either."

I'm currently reading 21st Century Boys by Sue Palmer who also pins great importance to imaginative play. Maybe I read too much and should just get on with it, but this stuff really makes sense to me. Much of her book is common sense, but it's nice to read something that had been carefully researched and referenced. Quite early on in the book she discusses what she calls "the technology trap" meaning TV, computer games, mobile phones etc. She talks about a lot of different topics, but the one that has struck a chord with me (and is most obvious to me) is how children learn best by doing things themselves rather than watching someone else do it on TV (or even just being told by a parent). How can a DVD or TV programme possibly replace the connection between a parent and child? Who would even think that a  little baby would rather listen to a CD than their mother talking/singing to them? What kind of F#*$!d up society believes that to be acceptable?? I've always found that experience is the best teacher and I plan on letting Isaac learn by experience, within reason. Obviously I'm not going to let him find out that running across a busy road is dangerous! I remember school Physics lessons (and bear in mind that Physics was my least favourite subject ever): DVDs = ZZZZ time, practical experiments = yay! Back to TV though, bear with me - this is worth it (from 21st Century Boys):

"For many years, the American Academy of Paediatrics has recommended that children under two shouldn't watch TV at all. There was no research to back up this recommendation - just a gut reaction on the part of doctors who knew something about child development. Indeed, it's only in the last few years that research into the effects of technology on children's brains in the first few years of life has begun to trickle through. Studies have now appeared linking early television watching to the male-dominated disorders, ADHD and autism. ...I suspect the technology trap may also be related to many speech and language difficulties and to dyslexia. In 2008, the French government concluded the evidence is strong enough to ban French channels from airing TV programmes aimed at children under three and insist that cable channels display a health warning."

So France has seen fit, but not the UK? There are still the dreaded CBeebies/Milkshake etc which are specifically aimed at very young children. While at the Derby Montessori School open afternoon a few weeks ago, I overheard a teacher talking with a parent about TV. The teacher was explaining to the stunned parent that the recommended amount of TV any child under 11 should be allowed, per day is 1 hour.

We don't have TV in our house. We haven't had TV for about 5 years now and I'm rather glad! We have a TV, but it isn't plugged into an aerial/dish/box so we don't receive any broadcasting. This will, thankfully, massively restrict Isaac's exposure to, as Palmer puts it "the marketing maelstrom". We use it for DVDs and Simon uses it for computer games too. Sure we watch some TV shows, but they are blissfully advert free and watched (a few times a week at most) when Isaac is asleep. Of course, I worry that other children will find it strange that he doesn't watch television - heck I used to think it was odd. Having lived without it for a while now I couldn't imagine having it back in the house. I remember back to my Uni days and the "MTV2 face" which plagued all in the House of Death. I simply don't have time to be watching the drivel that constitutes much of TV these days. Sure I spend some time writing this blog, but it doesn't take over my life like TV used to. Plus if I didn't write this stuff down I might go wrong in the head brain.

So anyhoo, Isaac will grow up without TV. He is my little baby boy and that is what I think is best for him and his developing brain. We will instead be going on trips to different places and visiting different people and learning about life through doing, not watching. I was slightly concerned about how the no-TV will work when the girls come on their weekends as they are used to watching lots of TV. I recently explained to Aoife that I don't want Isaac to watch TV and why; she was quite interested and not at all bothered that it was turned off when he woke up from his nap. It seems to be something they do when he isn't around anyway because they love playing with him when he's up and about. Bring on the summer, better weather, longer days and outdoor frolics!

I'm very aware of the use of mobile phones around him. What he sees now and going forward will be accepted as the norm and I don't want him to think it's OK to be glued to a phone 24/7, because it isn't! We have a no phones at the table rule and I'm conscious of trying to not use mobiles around him. I'm also very aware of the use of computers. I try my best not to use one at all when he's around. This will obviously change as he gets older and starts to use technology himself. As he gets bigger and we're off out doing stuff then my use of the PC will diminish too I suppose. Not a bad thing. I value family time over anything. No amount of BBC news or failblog.org or blogging or Facebook can replace spending time with the ones you love. If it can, and I say this in all seriousness, there is something very, very wrong with you!!

So, in conclusion (if conclusions can be drawn from my disjointed & erratic waffle) - I'm aiming to raise a balanced, healthy boy without the distractions of cheap throwaway junk toys, TV or technology. Of course they will find a way into his life, but I'd rather it was at an acceptable time than hammering him with it from birth when it can affect his little brain and potentially mess him up before he's even started. I love him too much for that. I know that he will do what he wants and I can't force him to do what I want, but I can give him the best head start possible while he is still little and in my care. I hope you'll help me too?

Vegan dog biscuits!

As I'm gradually becoming more vegan I've been wondering recently if it was possible for a dog to eat a vegan diet. I've read quite a lot about it, as nutrition is not a subject to be taken lightly, and it seems that both cats and dogs can lead healthy, vegan lives. Here is a good place to start for a bit of a wake up call. There will be those of you who think it cruel not to give an animal meat based food, but seriously - have you read the ingredients list on the back of you canine friend's chow? Words like "derivative" do not appear on my food labels, so why should they appear on my furry baby's? Have you even thought about what it is and how it gets into that perfectly sealed plastic bag that so easily drops into your shopping trolley?

Over the past few weeks I've gradually changed Rinny's dog food to Yarrah - she wasn't so keen at first, but now we mix it with a little brewer's yeast in water and she loves it, more than her meaty dog food! This pleases me hugely because the ethics of the meaty dog food company are questionable. Yarrah's certifications and guarantees make me happy :-)

Anyhoo...les biscuits (please apply proper accent Français for maximum effect).

To replace Gravy Bones

To replace Markies

To replace Dentastix

I used the recipes in How It All Vegan. The quantities in the book made enough for about 2 weeks worth of each, which is doable for me, having a small baby and all. I was totally surprised at how easy they were to make and also how nutritionally balanced they are.  They're actually pretty tasty! Most importantly Rinny totally loves them. All. Lots. Two fantastic human benefits - they cost a whole lot less to make than buy AND considerably less doggie flatulence since implication of operation vegan-dog! No more nasal assaults! Or cries of "Rinny, you stinky-arsed bandit!" We hear them, but they just don't smell :-)

I'm so very glad that I'm able to provide freshly made, nutritious food for my whole family - hurrah!

Isaac’s new scream, food and family

...of horror? Terror? Pain? A combination of all of the above? Yes that's right ladles and jellyspoons, Isaac is now pooing real grown up poo. Please feel free to stop reading now, I won't be offended. I do, however, feel that I have the right to talk about this subject, at length. This is a baby blog about baby things so...suck it UP! (Not literally, that would be gross.)

So, it's no longer just breast milk he's squeezing out about once every 8-9 days. Nope. He started off pooing after every solid effing meal. Which, by the way, is 3 times a day. I don't quite know how that happened. He got a taste for real food and it fills him up more than my breast milk can I guess. We went from having banana once on Sunday evening to him eating 3 solid meals a day - breakfast, lunch and tea - almost over night. In addition to his regular feeds. WHAT?? The books say to build it up slowly. Slowly my arse. The boy wants food and he wants it NOW!!

He now poos sporadically, but always preceded by the aforementioned scream. Bless him. I genuinely wish there was a way I could make it easier for him to pass the stuff, but I know not how. I think this will be the first of many things I wish I could make easier for him, but what kind of mother would I be if I could and did?

One thing I wasn't prepared for, which I should have been really, was the mess. I'm not even letting him feed himself yet (because he isn't yet upright) and there's mess. Duh - of course there is, he's learning to eat. See left for evidence of said mess - poor Zeb has borne the brunt of a particularly savage sweet potato hit.  I'm surprised by how much I'm not freaking out about future-mess. I'm a bit of a neat geek, but I seem to have been granted infinite patience. I suppose I've been broken in already somewhat by meeting my youngest step-daughter at 9 months. Nappies, feeding, crying for no discernible reason - and not even mine! Was I mad? Possibly. But. They are both wonderful little people who I love dearly.

Aoife, 6, enjoying "The Weezer"

Roisin, 3, slightly mental, but so much fun!

Isaac loves his sisters too. They are great at entertaining him, even if he is somewhat bemused at times!

He had his first bath solo this evening. We usually avoid bathing him when the girls are here because it's just easier, but tonight he really needed a bath. So, I bathed him first in his little seat thing, rather than going in with him. Then we topped it up & the girls had their bath. Worked really well. I now know I can bath him alone with him in the seat and he won't mind - hurrah!

Anyhoo - back to food related business. I've already decided to raise Isaac as vegan. I don't feel I need to justify this to anyone, least it be said I feel he will reap the benefits of an animal free diet particularly healthwise. I'm almost there with the veganism myself, although cheese is sometimes still a hard one, specifically on pizza (a weakness fo sho). I'd like some vegan weaning pointers. All babies are essentially vegan at first, until meat is introduced. This is good. He's already had some lentils and quite liked those. My main query is: what about B12? Where does that come from? I'm not a huge fan of yeast. I've heard that the amount of B12 needed over the course of a lifetime is minimal and having researched it a little, up until the age of 4 children don't even need 1 microgram! How big is a microgram? It's got to be pretty small huh? I think I'm getting a little obsessed. How can I not? He's my little boy. I'm responsible for his well being and this includes a varied and balanced diet, among other things.

Pleh.

I shouldn't try to rationalise anything when my head feels full of cotton wool (for you Yanks) and I have a wad of tissue stuck up my nose to absorb the persistent and unblowable drip.

On that note I bid you an abrupt goodnight; I'm off to take my sweat juice and sleep this mother off.

Weaning in earnest

As the title suggests, weaning has begun in earnest. After my last post I started to um and ah about it again as he is still not yet 6 months.  Despite my indecision I've been buying bits this past week to prepare us for our imminent adventure into the world of solid food. So far we have (as Boots have 3 for 2 on feeding items) Boots weaning bowls - 3 of, Boots soft tipped spoons - 4 of,  Boots cutlery case - 1 of, Brother Max food portioners, 18 of. On order we have Brother Max combi bibs - 12 of and doidy cups - 2 of. We already have one set of Brother Max combi bibs with a crumb catcher for Roisin who, until recently, liked very much to decorate herself with food. Isaac doesn't need the crumb catcher yet so the sharing of bibs is working well, but we certainly need more of them hence the mammoth order!! We also already have a Tommee Tippee beaker thing with spouty thing. I think we'll keep it for out and about & try to use the doidy cups at home. Will have to see how that goes & report back; best laid plans & all that.

Last night was the kick up the florals we needed to decide to get fully on board with the weaning. He wouldn't feed from me properly and was incredibly grumpy. I tried to give him extra feeds yesterday to help him make up what he wasn't getting at night now that he sleeps through, but it didn't work and just buggered about with my milk supply for when he actually wanted it. I should have known to go with him rather than forcing what I think to be best on him, but this is all still new to me so still feeling the way.  Anyhoo - he's  apparently developed quite a taste for banana & devoured 3/4 of said fruit before deciding he'd had enough. Today, as well as his regular feeds, he ate 1 & 1/4 carrots followed by a full milk feed at lunch time and nearly a whole small cox's apple this evening after a full milk feed. He doesn't like avocado, for now. It's a shame about that because it'd be really really good for him, being so full of nutritious fats & all. Might make him less of a skinny bean!

So now he has his own shelf in the freezer

and one in the fridge too.

I seem to have FAR TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS. Well, actually I don't, but I've clearly gone round the loop and have made this.

It is my first attempt at video. Oh the joys of modern technology! ANYONE CAN DO IT!

My goodness. My poor son.

Right, I'm off to bed before I do something else ridiculous.

A day of firsts

Today Isaac has: eaten his first proper little bowl of food (rather than tasting from the end of my spoon), done a 110° turn in his cot and grabbed (and munched on) his feet. He's been a very busy little fellow, what with his almost non-stop wiggling, and now 3 new things to add to his infant repertoire!

All towels have been removed from the cot bed. It's just him, his blanket and his sleeping bag. I thought he might wake up if he couldn't pull the blanket down over his face, but he seems to manage it wherever! Bless him. It was such a surprise for me to see him at an unfamiliar angle in there. He wiggles the most in his sleep I reckon.

The feet thing was hilarious, for both of us. I was changing his nappy and momentarily looked away to put the used nappy in the bag. I heard a squeal of laughter & looked back to see him grinning like nobody's business with his sock clad toes in his mouth! He now seems to know that those weird things that Mummy puts colourful things on are actually part of his own anatomy.

Coming up on Eating News: banana, but first a little background surrounding The Weaning. I took him to clinic to get him weighed on Thursday last week and he had lost 3oz :-( I was surprised at the time, but thinking about it now, I'm not. Since he's been sleeping through the night he hasn't been having any extra feeds during the day and he hasn't increased the duration of his current feeds either. Since last Thursday I've been giving him an extra feed before bed, which he would usually refuse, but he's been quite happily chowing down so we'll stick with that methinks. A suggestion was made a few weeks ago by HV to wean him around now. Since then she's relaxed about the issue as she's seen that I'm really not worried about him & that (other than not conforming to WHO weight gain charts) he's quite a happy wee wiggler. Anyhoo, at my baby group on Friday last week she mentioned it again to see if it would help him gain weight. He's been getting much more interested in food/eating over the past week or so (to the point where I have to put my bowl in the middle of the table almost so that he doesn't get his fingers in my dinner! Not that I mind, but babies aren't supposed to have anything with added salt so grown up food is a no-no right now.) He's displaying other signs that he's ready, such as not seeming satisfied after every feed, putting everything in his mouth etc, which makes me more confident that weaning is a good idea rather than forcing it on him before he's ready just to fit the "norm".  I've been dutifully expressing each night for about a week to build up a stock of freezer milk to add to food to make it the right consistency for Mr Man. It's actually convenient (weaning wise) that I only get 1 oz a time because then I can easily freeze small amounts. I'd still like to be able to express lots for emergencies, but hey.

Today I took the plunge and, after his first feed, gave him a very small  mashed up piece of banana (about 1/6th) mixed with some breast milk. He. Totally. Loved. It. So much so that I gave him some more after his 3 o'clockish feed - scoffed the lot. He was wise to the spoon by this afternoon and wanted to hold it himself. I'm all for baby-led weaning, but I might leave that until A) he can sit up and thus not choke, and B) until I have more bibs and some sort of floor protection!! So I've made a list of items to purchase after payday to help us on our way. We've already got blenders/whizzers/wands etc so that expense has been spared. What we really needs are...spoons, BIBS! with plastic backing, wee pots/ice cube trays & tubs and some non-slip bottomed bowls (for the baby-led business). The NCT weaning lady also said that teaching them to use a cup early on rather than the spouty things is better so I'm investigating doidy cups.

He really does seem to love it. While I'm really pleased that our first foray into solid food has gone well, I can't help but be sad that this is the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. It was tedious at first, but I think I'm really going miss it. It's afforded us such beautiful quiet time *sigh* won't be long until he's eating family food with us. As goes the cliché - how fast they grow! Or maybe I'm just having too much fun?