Grandpa

Dear Isaac

You both in London at 10 weeks, London 2009

It has been three months since your Grandpa passed away, almost exactly give or take a few hours. I'm sitting here listening to the song we chose to play as we walked into his funeral service - The Wonder Of You by Elvis Presley. Listening to it makes me happy and sad at the same time; happy because it reminds me of him and I can see him singing along in his funny way and punching the air during the chorus and sad because I know I'll never see him do it again. I'm writing this so you will know a little about him and also so that I have a reminder of my step-Dad.

There's so much I want to tell you about him because you won't remember knowing him. He loved his family immensely. He loved you so very much and loved that you were his grandson. There are so many things that made him who he was. Peter Edward Russell, Per. His great love was sailing. When I first knew him he had a yacht called Miss Tickle, which I thought was hilarious. If you say it quickly it sounds like Mystical, which I also thought was rather splendid. I liked sailing with Peter; we used to go to Cowes on the Isle of Wight. When he retired he did a lot of fundraising for the R.N.L.I. which he believed to be a very worthy charity, as do I.

At my 26th birthday meal, June 2007

He loved country music. I have memories of him driving me back to school on a Sunday evening listening to Crystal Chandeliers or Rose Garden. Elvis, Buddy Holly, Johnny Cash and Dolly Parton (or Dolly Partits as he'd call her) always remind me of him. Whenever we went anywhere on holiday in the car he would insist on playing On The Road Again by Willie Nelson. This was the song we played to walk out to at his funeral and I didn't cry during the service until I heard that. 

He liked brown sauce, big American style hamburgers and lasagne. He was partial to the odd Kit Kat and Mars Bar. He loved to drink black coffee and I sometimes used to think that, if cut, he'd bleed black coffee instead of blood. He wasn't short, but not particularly tall either. He always made a joke about his hair and how I had to be careful with him because he only had two strands left. This wasn't true at all, but he had a lot more of it when he was younger and was known as the Golden Gnome as a consquence! A recent revelation for me! He was a fan of Aston Villa FC. I wasn't sure why until a few weeks ago. He loved rugby and played it during his time at Welbeck College as well being a boxer there. He loved going back to visit and always used to joke about how "awful" it was that they let girls attend these days. He had a very dry sense of humour, which I didn't really understand until I was a little older than when we met. He loved the The Goon Show and Monty Python. He would regularly tell me (in a comedic fashion) "SFG!" (shut your festering gob you tit, your type really makes me puke! from the Monty Python Argument sketch) or would burst into song, usually the one sung by the Knights Who Say Ni.

At mine and Daddy's wedding, March 2008

He was a hugely intelligent and articulate man and very politically minded. He thought Margaret Thatcher was a great lady; there are many who disagree, but your Grandpa was adamant. I bought him a Maggie Thatcher nut cracker one Christmas. He thought it hilarious, heehee! He instilled in me an abhorrence of improper use of grammar and punctuation; if I tell you that "it's bored with, not of" or "it's should have, not of", you've got your Grandpa to thank for that! Thank him I do. There's no excuse! I remember watching University Challenge on television with him. He loved when Jeremy Paxman was rude to the contestants. I thought it was mean, but looking back it was pretty funny. I will never forget when he phoned me up to ask me the meaning of "chav" and "bling". You will grow up with these terms, but to your Grandpa they were whole new concepts.

It was a confusing time for me when my Mum (your Nanna) & Peter got married. I was 11 then. Dad had left and I didn't see him very much and then there was this strange man that came to live with us. I don't have many memories of that time if I'm honest. I do remember being a bloody awful teenager, but Peter took it all in his stride and I respect him immensely for that. It can't have been easy dealing with an emotional & hormonal teenage girl that wasn't his actual daughter. I apologised for my behaviour a few years ago, which I know he appreciated.

I learned a lot about him at his funeral from people I've never met. He had a whole life I knew nothing about before I met him. I knew that he was a salesman for much of his life. I knew he worked for Rothman's (a tobacco company) and that he was also a Freeman of the City Of London. The thing that struck me most about the funeral was how much people respected your Grandpa. There was no denying his headstrong nature, but this fierce determination was seen in a positive light and as an admirable quality. I learned that he was a good man to work for and an even better person to have on your side. People valued his opinion a great deal and he was widely well though of. The sheer number of people who came to pay their respects to him is testament to all these things.

He loved this picture because he could claim my hair as his!

Having lived in a residential home, age and illness are things I suppose I'm used to. Finding out that your Grandpa was so poorly was strange for me. What was stranger was, as his condition progressed, seeing him progress with it. The residents at the home were all quite old and in need of care when they arrived, but Peter? No. Peter was not the kind of person with whom requiring care sat easily. Of course he accepted it with good grace. I helped him into his pyjamas so he could go to bed one afternoon and he was so incredibly grateful. His gratitude extended to all of his carers: his nurses, Nanna and Eva and even on occasion Auntie Denny, even if he didn't show it all of the time.

I can remember now as clearly as if it were yesterday the afternoon of 3rd November 2010 when your Nanna phoned me to say she had the paramedics come to take him to hospital because he had yet another infection. She was so mad with his doctor for thinking she was fussing. She knew then that he was going. I guess, because my Nanna lived to 98 and liked to keep us on our toes shall I say, that I thought she was overreacting and he'd pull through. I remember later on that evening she phoned me to tell me he didn't have long. I spoke to him on the phone and told him how much I loved him and how grateful I was for everything he had done for me. He didn't say anything because he couldn't. I rushed to get ready and drive to the hospital so I could say goodbye properly. I remember stepping out of the shower and your Daddy coming in with the phone in his hand. I was too late. He'd just had enough. Enough of hospitals and doctors and medication, of not being able to breathe easily, of being poked, prodded and injected. Can you blame him?

Learning of the death of a parent is something that cannot be described, so I'm not even going to try. I know death is a part of life and not to be feared, but that doesn't stop the pain when you lose someone so utterly significant.

In France with Nanna, 2010

What to say now? I've said all I can; a few things that make me smile when I remember them and some things that will hopefully help you know a little about your Grandpa's character. I shall close with the words of a family friend, received in a card of condolence, because it is far more eloquent than anything I could write.

"His was a life with much to celebrate, not least his passion for living every moment to the full. Very much a man of his generation, kind, considerate and a true gentleman, but eventually undone by the shadows of his working life. He will be greatly missed."

Love and so much more

Mummy
xxx

Slightly adrift

Forgive my lack of posts; I haven't really felt like writing anything much of late. I have lots of ideas & photos are piling up on my phone, but the impetus to extract from my brain onto paper (as it were) is lacking. 

I haven't spent much time at home lately - approximately 6 days in-fact during the month of November. This sucks. I like being at home...with my boys. However, I've been needed elsewhere. But right now, this very moment, I'm sad because I've realised how little time I've spent at home...with both of my boys. 

After an horrific journey, some tears and a bath I'm now sitting alone in a hotel room listening to the fuzz on the monitor, feeling melancholy. To kill some time I've been sorting through my phone images (those aforementioned). I was more than  pleased to find a picture I took last month before all the weirdness, when we were just trundling along with our lives. It made me really very happy to see it again so I've decided to post it on here. 

I'll file it under "happy" & whenever I'm feeling sad I'll sneak a peek and it'll make me grin :-)

A distraction

I've been quiet lately. I think it's partly because winter is all but breaking down the door and I'm going into hibernating mode, but more recently it's largely because my step-father passed away. While I try to figure out how on earth I'm going to put into words the many things he meant to me, here are some pictures to distract me and make me smile.

Post birthday mega update

I've felt reclusive over the past few weeks, hence no posts. I think it's mostly to do with the change in season; it's now officially autumn! How can I tell? I'm wearing tights and Isaac is wearing socks, neither of which can be hung outside to dry.

Here follows an Isaac update of mega proportions.

Food

Isaac is doing very well with feeding himself nowadays; he mostly feeds himself with his spoon &/or fork & lets me collate the damage into one final spoonful. It's our little agreement. He eats and loves a wide variety of foods & usually has the same as us, which makes mealtimes very easy, but here are a few of his favourites.

• Breakfast - still whole wheat cereal biscuits (Weetabix type efforts, but not made by Weetabix), home-made hemp milk & a mashed up banana followed by a piece of toast with either pear & apple spread or Natex (like Marmite, not as salty). He's also partial to lemon curd. Mmm...lemon curd...
• Lunch - humous (plain, lemon & coriander, red pepper, sun-dried tomato, roasted vegetable) & mini bread sticks
• Tea - it's a toss up between coconut-cauliflower chana or tofu saag. Yup, I know! The boy loves his spicy food! HURRAY!
• Naughty tea - alphabetti on toast (when Mummy is: Just. Too. Tired.)
• Fruit - blueberries. If he had his way and we were made of money I suspect he'd eat a punnet a day.
• Snack - Organix alphabet biscuits or mini rice cakes (apple & cinnamon or pumpkin & carrot)
• Milk - breast is still best for the Wiggler. We're down to three feeds per day now. 1st - before breakfast upon waking, 2nd - after 1st nap around 11ish & 3rd - before bed. He dropped the afternoon one himself. I gathered he didn't want it when he started to squirm & push away...three days on the trot! I'm not sure what we're going to do about milk replacement. Everyone else I know is moving onto cows milk, but we all know how I feel about that. I've read that almond milk is high in calcium & other vitamins/minerals/fats/proteins so may try that. It's pretty easy to make too, although will need to remember to soak the nuts. He had it before I started to make hemp milk so I know he isn't allergic to it and it's quite naturally sweet anyway. Hmm. *ponders*

 

Mobility

Isaac is well & truly on the move now. He still commando crawls everywhere, but really rather quickly! He's started to crawl on his hands & knees a bit too & sometimes he'll shuffle forwards upright on his knees. He pulls himself up using me & Simon, the sofa & the coffee table. You can tell how high he ventures by which shelf of DVDs is in disarray! 

Play time

Master Chef 2010

He loves playing with his different toys & spends the most time with his wooden ones and the things that aren't created as toys, such as empty containers, kitchen utensils, the telephone, camera battery chargers, spectacle cases etc. He loves things that make noise and enjoys smacking seven kinds of musical s**t of the keyboard. He also likes an app I have on my phone called Toddler Lock. It's basically a black screen on which you draw lines & shapes by tracing your finger on the screen or tapping it. It's good because only an adult or older child would know how to unlock the phone from the app so no deleted stuff! I don't like him using it much & only really use it as a last resort. (i.e.: when I'm coming around in the morning and his toys just aren't cutting it, or when we're out & about & have run out of things to play with, which isn't often as he's so easily amused!

He also loves playing with the dog. He lurches at her to give her cuddles now and has recently learned how to thrown her ball for her to chase. It doesn't go very far, but she joins in and  it's very cute to watch; I think Rinny is warming to him. It freaked her out massively when he started to move and she was very nervous. This created a catch 22 for her because she'd use me for protection, but at the same time Isaac would be using me as a climbing frame! No escape for the pooch. I like to think it's payback for all the times she never lets up with her ball. Revenge, dog, suck it up. 

Of course he loves having play time with Mummy & Daddy, although it seems we start out playing to entertain Isaac & then it turns into us playing & he's buggered off to do something else because he's bored with watching the paper aeroplane/bouncy ball go back & forth for the 80th time. He likes to climb on us and if we roll a ball at him he'll push it back. He also likes bashing balloons around - great fun! 

One of his favourite pastimes of late is taking off & replacing the lids of pens. Felt tips, biros, gel pens...whatever. Any kind of pen. He loves it. Hew also drew his first picture a few days ago. It's really a piece of A4 covered in green squiggles, but it made me proud nonetheless. He didn't even get any on the floor!

He loves swimming and I try to take him when I can. We usually all go together on a Sunday morning for the parent & child session in the teaching pool, but coughs & other activites have kept us away lately. Will see how we all are this weekend perhaps?

Dislike

Isaac really isn't a fan of having is nappy changed any more. I've found that giving him different things to investigate while I do it helps to distract him. I keep a small stash of objects in the drawer under his changing mat for this purpose.

Without sounding smug, there isn't a whole lot else that makes him upset or grumpy, other than being tired  or hungry & no one likes that do they? He's a very happy little chap & we're always complimented on his smile when we're out.

Sleeping

He's been sleeping through for a good few weeks again now. HURRAH! He goes to bed between 7 & 8pm depending on how he is & then wakes between 6.30 & 8am. He still naps twice a day. Times vary, again depending on how he is, but he has a morning & afternoon nap. At one point I thought he might have been gearing towards one big middle of the day nap because he slept for 2 1/2 hours in the late morning, but he's changed his naps so that it now seems to be the afternoon one that's longer. Go figure. Babies toddlers huh?

Misc

I sometimes think I have a mogwai rather than a human baby. The vocal similarities between Isaac and Gizmo are astounding. It's very cute. Then he does he's thrash metal growl and even that is cute.

We still use the carrier. I'm particularly grateful for this as the weather is decidedly more autumnal than summery now, brr! It's different to this time last year because I could put a hoodie over the top of him & the sling & zip it up around us both, but now there's a lot more of him so I usually unzip my sweater & have it on, but open under the carrier. This keeps us both warm & prevents Mummy from passing out through overheating. We shall see how this goes. I've bought him a coat for the colder months & we've still got the special socks to keep him legs/feet warm when it becomes bitterly cold. I shall sincerely miss him when he's too big to be carried, but that's a few years away yet! He likes being able to see everything from my perspective and is interested in it ALL. I would call him nosey, but that isn't the right word. Insquisitive methinks.

"Inquisitive" and pulling himself up, all in the space of 5 minutes!

We still meet up with the NCTs sporadically. It's so lovely to see them all growing and changing & to hear funny parenting stories. The ones that are going have nearly all gone back to work now so it's trickier to have a time when we can all meet up, especially with constantly changing nap times. C'est la vie.

Isaac's got his first real little cold & cough at the moment. I think that nearly 13 months without sniffles is pretty good going really. We've been giving him the Nelson's cough syrup & I've been taking echinacea for mine. Seems to have done the trick with the cough & the runny nosey-ness is clearing up now. It hasn't been traumatic in the slightest and hasn't interfered with food much either. In-fact, it only lasted a few days!

He gets on very well with his sisters and they like him lots too. They came to stay for a week last week while their Mum & boyfriend had a week away. We had a lovely time! I think I was dreading it; weekends are sometimes a strain when it comes to keeping them entertained, but no one was bored and I did lots of stuff with the girls while Isaac napped when we got home from the epic hour-long school run (so called because they live on the other side of Derby from us, but we managed just fine). Roisin started her reception class this year and is making some little friends of her own which is GREAT news. She's only been there a few weeks, but already it's made a hugely positive impact on how she is. Aoife is doing very well in her class, she really is a very bright little girl.

In short, it all going well. We're all poottling along happily. Nothing major to report. Rest assured when something massive happens, you will know!

Just So Festival 2010

It's taken a week, but today I've finally Henry hoovered up the last of the festival mud from the hall. It made me smile thinking back to last weekend and how the mud got there. 

It came from the Just So Festival, held at a Scout camp ground by Rudyard Reservoir just outside of Leek. It's a truly magical setting with little glades containing different themed areas all offering different activities (e.g.: lantern making, small cinema, traditional games (croquet, cricket, hoopla etc), sand pit, face painting, circus skills, story time, bands etc). It was the first time the festival was put on and I have to say that the guys organising (Sarah & Rowan) did a sterling job. The camping glades were dotted around the site and were all named after animals from Rudyard Kipling's (whose parents named him after the reservoir) Just So Stories (it all makes sense now). We were pretty lucky to be in the Elephant glade which was relatively close to everything. I guess it's because we had quite small children with little legs. 200 families camped and an additional 300 families came in on day tickets each day of the festival (Saturday & Sunday). It was beautifully organised with coloured lights strung along the paths, baubles in the bushes and bunting galore. There was even a bush with brown labels for you to write your festival memories.

We arrived on Friday afternoon & managed to get the tent up just in time for a rain shower. It's the first time we've used our new bell tent and we absolutely LOVE IT! It looks pretty small in the picture, but it's 5 metres of massive. I can't imagine using any other kind of tent again. The only downside was that the inner we purchased broke. 3 times. Imagine, if you will, the centre pole of a bell tent. About 2/3rds of the way up said pole is a hook on which one can hang various items such as a tea light chandelier or, in our case, an inner. We chose to use an inner as the children are still small and feel the cold, plus it separates the sleeping area making it easier to keep clean! Anyhoo. The order of the inner, from the hook, goes - hook, ring, fabric loop, inner. The loop of fabric at the top of the inner can't have been stitched very well to the inner because it snapped on one side, so I fixed it, then the other, so I fixed that too. Then the ring snapped into 3 pieces. So I fixed that too. How? I took a sewing kit with me. I have no idea why I packed it, but I did & good job too! I used a canvas strip that was used to tie the tent in its bag to replace the ring & it held fine for the duration. I can't believe I took a sewing kit to a festival and had to use it. 

That was the worst bit really. The rain was intermittent, but enough to be annoying. however because the site was established it had proper paths and so we didn't end up swimming in mud like you can do at some festivals. The toilets were a festival goers dream! Loo roll, soap, paper towels and lights! Quite magnificent...for a loo. I hope it hasn't spoiled the girls for future festivals - Aoife's quite particular about loos! The food was wonderful and we all ate very well while we were there. There was a baby deli serving home cooked food for the youngest visitors. We chose not to use it because there wasn't any finger food on the menu & Isaac still isn't big on being spoon fed apart from breakfast, which we took with us. To both mine & Simon's delight there was a Pie Minister stall selling the Heidi Pie. Sold. Relief in the form of a pie!

The activities were great, the ones that we did. I think next year we really do need to plan what we want to do & do it. The rain meant that we didn't do as much as we've liked and Isaac being so small still meant I couldn't do as much as I'd have liked (he's very clingy to me at the moment). I felt very jealous of all the beautiful lanterns I saw waiting to be collected. The baby sensory tent looked lovely, but a bit soggy as it was at the bottom of a slope and the rain had leaked in & wet the rattan type flooring, which was a shame. The was a lot for babies, all in the Peekaboo glade.

There were some adventure playgrounds which the girls loved. One was for under 8s & the other for over 8s. Unfortunately, parents weren't monitoring this so by Sunday morning there was a marshal monitoring it. Much to Aoife's annoyance.

We went on a wildlife trail & made dragonflies & masks with the RSPB. The girls  practised their circus skills, listened to stories, made sandcastles and watched Punch & Judy. We painted their faces and rocked them gently in hammocks. Simon & the girls watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in the Silver Screen glade while Isaac and I napped.  Isaac took it all in from his carrier. He watched his first live band sporting some borrowed baby ear defenders. He also practised kneeling against the tent pole (I'm not sure if I should be pleased or bemused by this!) I'm very excited about when he's bigger and can do things like the den building, campfire building and foraging activites. I want to do them!!

Click image to zoom (a bit)

The time flew and before too long it was time to pack up the tent. We decided to cut the weekend short and leave at about half past two on the Sunday. We were all shattered after a broken nights sleep on Saturday & we hadn't managed to book in for some of the activities we wanted to (apparently next year there will be more room in the activity groups). I felt for the day crowd because most activities got booked up on Friday evening. So, no Moomin Tea Party for us! Boo!

We had lots of fun and are all (those of us that can voice opinion, that is) eager to go back next year. I think nearly everyone that went is though, so we'll have to book our tickets soon!

Thank you Rowan & Sarah for a fabulous experience!

Grandad's latest visit and some firsts to boot!

My Pa (Grandad) came to visit last week. Despite his grumbling back he did a sterling job of stripping down and repainting an old rocking chair that I was given by a lady on Freegle. The chair was thought to be pine underneath the white paint, but turned out to be beech & beech ply (?) so we weren't able to strip it & varnish it as we'd hoped. We settled instead for a warm beige colour paint, which ties in quite well with Isaac's nursery. I think it looks fab - thank you Dad!

We went into town one day and stopped for an impromptu cup of tea and Isaac's dinner at Derby Quad (the same trip that set me onto Ikea high chairs). Isaac had his first jacket potato and baked beans. Which went down very well! He just kept eating...and eating...and eating! I think it had something to do with being outside & seeing lots of new things which distracted him from what his mouth is doing because he always eats well  in public. He's such a show off: "Look at me! I'm eating!"

Isaac also had his first time in shopping trolley seat, the folding one rather than the plastic-leaning-back one. It was very exciting AND he didn't fall over! Wooh!

Unfortunately I was using my phone camera, hence the car behind is in focus, not my Little Man. Gah.

The weather was (and still is!) warm. I baked cookies and we talked & listened to old soul records. Splendid.

All in all it was a lovely week and Dad even stayed on longer to finish the chair. We love you Grandad! Come back soon!

Isaac and his Nanna.

We've come to visit Isaac's Nanna and Grandpa for the weekend and today Mum, Isaac and I went to Stratford-upon-Avon for the afternoon. I'd forgotten how lovely it is. In fact, I'd forgotten how lovely most of Warwickshire is. All the little black and white beamed houses, groaning under the weight of age and history, keeping  locked in the walls and doors their secrets of lives past.  Not something I appreciated as a child growing up there, but now...it's just so charming. I could sit by the river for hours and watch the people go about their meanderings.  Heck, am I getting old?? Anyhoo I digress. Massively into my own musings. Apologies.

What I wanted to show you was this...

It's so incredibly terrific to see Mum with a smile this big on her face. She's been through a hell of a lot in recent years and it's not over yet. It makes me  happy and so utterly proud that our Little Man can instigate a beam like this.

I love you Mama and so does your wee grandson, he just can't say it yet.

Toys, TV and technology

This started out as a post just about toys, but then I started to write it and discovered that I seem to lump modern toys, TV and technology in the same category, making it difficult to write about one without spilling into the other. Much of this is stuff I hadn't even considered until I had a son of my own, apart from the TV business.

So *draws in deep breath* here we go...

While surfing the Mummy-blogosphere during  morning nap-time a few days ago I came across Dear Baby and got quite caught up in  the beautiful Everly's little San Francisco world with her Mummy & Daddy. One of Melissa's posts in particular resonated with me and my beliefs and succinctly covered everything I believe about children's toys. Essentially she talks about her

"... desire to avoid the plastic, buzzing, blinking crap that our society calls “toys” these days. While I don’t want to deny my daughter anything,  I can’t help but want to think of ways to give her a full, enjoyable youth without drowning her in a room full of mass produced junk that she’ll grow tired of quickly. ... Will our family think we are crazy if we asked them to forgo presents at her birthday party and instead give her their undivided time?"

I've had thoughts about what people will think if we ask them to not buy "regular" kids toys. I don't want to seem fussy and ungrateful;  I completely appreciate the intention is harmless and filled with love, but we'd rather Isaac had toys that encourage his imaginative play than a set of adult created guidelines for him to follow. Or even instead of toys he spent more time with the people who love him. Plus it seems difficult enough to try and instil a sense of value into children as it is, what with media shoving the latest shiny, bright toy into everything they can and other children boasting about how many presents they got from Santa in a playground battle of one-upmanship. In my experience it isn't even what they got from whom, it's how many and how big. There is also a limit as to how much we can store and in a bid to limit our consumerism I'd rather we have less that is appreciated than more that is not. I guess I'm loosely following the attachment parenting ideals of having him with me pretty much everywhere I go, apart from when he sleeps (because the dude likes his own space). He can nearly always at least see me. Because of this he doesn't have a great deal of toys and doesn't seem to be missing out because of it. He has play a play gym, but he doesn't spend long on it - he's more interested in what I'm doing anyway! I quote the same bit of this article from the Guardian (which I recommend you read in full if you're at all interested in what I've written so far) that Melissa does in her post about toys:

"They [children] get overwhelmed and over-stimulated and cannot concentrate on any one thing long enough to learn from it so they just shut down. Too many toys means they are not learning to play imaginatively either."

I'm currently reading 21st Century Boys by Sue Palmer who also pins great importance to imaginative play. Maybe I read too much and should just get on with it, but this stuff really makes sense to me. Much of her book is common sense, but it's nice to read something that had been carefully researched and referenced. Quite early on in the book she discusses what she calls "the technology trap" meaning TV, computer games, mobile phones etc. She talks about a lot of different topics, but the one that has struck a chord with me (and is most obvious to me) is how children learn best by doing things themselves rather than watching someone else do it on TV (or even just being told by a parent). How can a DVD or TV programme possibly replace the connection between a parent and child? Who would even think that a  little baby would rather listen to a CD than their mother talking/singing to them? What kind of F#*$!d up society believes that to be acceptable?? I've always found that experience is the best teacher and I plan on letting Isaac learn by experience, within reason. Obviously I'm not going to let him find out that running across a busy road is dangerous! I remember school Physics lessons (and bear in mind that Physics was my least favourite subject ever): DVDs = ZZZZ time, practical experiments = yay! Back to TV though, bear with me - this is worth it (from 21st Century Boys):

"For many years, the American Academy of Paediatrics has recommended that children under two shouldn't watch TV at all. There was no research to back up this recommendation - just a gut reaction on the part of doctors who knew something about child development. Indeed, it's only in the last few years that research into the effects of technology on children's brains in the first few years of life has begun to trickle through. Studies have now appeared linking early television watching to the male-dominated disorders, ADHD and autism. ...I suspect the technology trap may also be related to many speech and language difficulties and to dyslexia. In 2008, the French government concluded the evidence is strong enough to ban French channels from airing TV programmes aimed at children under three and insist that cable channels display a health warning."

So France has seen fit, but not the UK? There are still the dreaded CBeebies/Milkshake etc which are specifically aimed at very young children. While at the Derby Montessori School open afternoon a few weeks ago, I overheard a teacher talking with a parent about TV. The teacher was explaining to the stunned parent that the recommended amount of TV any child under 11 should be allowed, per day is 1 hour.

We don't have TV in our house. We haven't had TV for about 5 years now and I'm rather glad! We have a TV, but it isn't plugged into an aerial/dish/box so we don't receive any broadcasting. This will, thankfully, massively restrict Isaac's exposure to, as Palmer puts it "the marketing maelstrom". We use it for DVDs and Simon uses it for computer games too. Sure we watch some TV shows, but they are blissfully advert free and watched (a few times a week at most) when Isaac is asleep. Of course, I worry that other children will find it strange that he doesn't watch television - heck I used to think it was odd. Having lived without it for a while now I couldn't imagine having it back in the house. I remember back to my Uni days and the "MTV2 face" which plagued all in the House of Death. I simply don't have time to be watching the drivel that constitutes much of TV these days. Sure I spend some time writing this blog, but it doesn't take over my life like TV used to. Plus if I didn't write this stuff down I might go wrong in the head brain.

So anyhoo, Isaac will grow up without TV. He is my little baby boy and that is what I think is best for him and his developing brain. We will instead be going on trips to different places and visiting different people and learning about life through doing, not watching. I was slightly concerned about how the no-TV will work when the girls come on their weekends as they are used to watching lots of TV. I recently explained to Aoife that I don't want Isaac to watch TV and why; she was quite interested and not at all bothered that it was turned off when he woke up from his nap. It seems to be something they do when he isn't around anyway because they love playing with him when he's up and about. Bring on the summer, better weather, longer days and outdoor frolics!

I'm very aware of the use of mobile phones around him. What he sees now and going forward will be accepted as the norm and I don't want him to think it's OK to be glued to a phone 24/7, because it isn't! We have a no phones at the table rule and I'm conscious of trying to not use mobiles around him. I'm also very aware of the use of computers. I try my best not to use one at all when he's around. This will obviously change as he gets older and starts to use technology himself. As he gets bigger and we're off out doing stuff then my use of the PC will diminish too I suppose. Not a bad thing. I value family time over anything. No amount of BBC news or failblog.org or blogging or Facebook can replace spending time with the ones you love. If it can, and I say this in all seriousness, there is something very, very wrong with you!!

So, in conclusion (if conclusions can be drawn from my disjointed & erratic waffle) - I'm aiming to raise a balanced, healthy boy without the distractions of cheap throwaway junk toys, TV or technology. Of course they will find a way into his life, but I'd rather it was at an acceptable time than hammering him with it from birth when it can affect his little brain and potentially mess him up before he's even started. I love him too much for that. I know that he will do what he wants and I can't force him to do what I want, but I can give him the best head start possible while he is still little and in my care. I hope you'll help me too?

Isaac’s new scream, food and family

...of horror? Terror? Pain? A combination of all of the above? Yes that's right ladles and jellyspoons, Isaac is now pooing real grown up poo. Please feel free to stop reading now, I won't be offended. I do, however, feel that I have the right to talk about this subject, at length. This is a baby blog about baby things so...suck it UP! (Not literally, that would be gross.)

So, it's no longer just breast milk he's squeezing out about once every 8-9 days. Nope. He started off pooing after every solid effing meal. Which, by the way, is 3 times a day. I don't quite know how that happened. He got a taste for real food and it fills him up more than my breast milk can I guess. We went from having banana once on Sunday evening to him eating 3 solid meals a day - breakfast, lunch and tea - almost over night. In addition to his regular feeds. WHAT?? The books say to build it up slowly. Slowly my arse. The boy wants food and he wants it NOW!!

He now poos sporadically, but always preceded by the aforementioned scream. Bless him. I genuinely wish there was a way I could make it easier for him to pass the stuff, but I know not how. I think this will be the first of many things I wish I could make easier for him, but what kind of mother would I be if I could and did?

One thing I wasn't prepared for, which I should have been really, was the mess. I'm not even letting him feed himself yet (because he isn't yet upright) and there's mess. Duh - of course there is, he's learning to eat. See left for evidence of said mess - poor Zeb has borne the brunt of a particularly savage sweet potato hit.  I'm surprised by how much I'm not freaking out about future-mess. I'm a bit of a neat geek, but I seem to have been granted infinite patience. I suppose I've been broken in already somewhat by meeting my youngest step-daughter at 9 months. Nappies, feeding, crying for no discernible reason - and not even mine! Was I mad? Possibly. But. They are both wonderful little people who I love dearly.

Aoife, 6, enjoying "The Weezer"

Roisin, 3, slightly mental, but so much fun!

Isaac loves his sisters too. They are great at entertaining him, even if he is somewhat bemused at times!

He had his first bath solo this evening. We usually avoid bathing him when the girls are here because it's just easier, but tonight he really needed a bath. So, I bathed him first in his little seat thing, rather than going in with him. Then we topped it up & the girls had their bath. Worked really well. I now know I can bath him alone with him in the seat and he won't mind - hurrah!

Anyhoo - back to food related business. I've already decided to raise Isaac as vegan. I don't feel I need to justify this to anyone, least it be said I feel he will reap the benefits of an animal free diet particularly healthwise. I'm almost there with the veganism myself, although cheese is sometimes still a hard one, specifically on pizza (a weakness fo sho). I'd like some vegan weaning pointers. All babies are essentially vegan at first, until meat is introduced. This is good. He's already had some lentils and quite liked those. My main query is: what about B12? Where does that come from? I'm not a huge fan of yeast. I've heard that the amount of B12 needed over the course of a lifetime is minimal and having researched it a little, up until the age of 4 children don't even need 1 microgram! How big is a microgram? It's got to be pretty small huh? I think I'm getting a little obsessed. How can I not? He's my little boy. I'm responsible for his well being and this includes a varied and balanced diet, among other things.

Pleh.

I shouldn't try to rationalise anything when my head feels full of cotton wool (for you Yanks) and I have a wad of tissue stuck up my nose to absorb the persistent and unblowable drip.

On that note I bid you an abrupt goodnight; I'm off to take my sweat juice and sleep this mother off.

Odds & sods

After the initial telephone call of doom on Friday afternoon, the visit went well and I actually really like my Health Visitor! She gave me some really useful breastfeeding tips and advice. Looks like I'll be going along to her breastfeeding group across the road on Friday mornings. Turns out the Well Baby clinic is only over the road too so that makes things easy :-) She put things in perspective, in that at the moment all Little Man knows is sucking, crying, sleeping, weeing & pooing. He's doing well on all those fronts so I guess I must be doing something right. Apart from maybe the sleeping thing, but not all babies sleep as much as each other do they? He does OK at night; obviously we don't get as much sleep as we'd like, but I seem to have night feeds down so that helps.

She also talked to me about the birth. She was surprised that, as I'd had spontaneous membrane rupture & planned a home birth, that I'd ended up having a caesarean. I explained that the midwives who came at 4am asked me to go into hospital for a CTG & I'd ended up staying & she was of the opinion that, as I'd been taken out of my own surroundings into a strange unfamiliar environment, that my body had shut down & decided not to give birth then. Sounds about right to me! I'd thought this already, but didn't want to really believe it. I can't help wondering what would've happened if I'd gone home. There's absolutely no point doing this though as it's now in the past, Le Wiggler est ici & he's healthy etc. Anyhoo...food for thought.

Wheelie-shopper-of-greatness!

How are things going? They're going well. We've had a few nightmare days when I wanted to curl up & die, but who doesn't, right? The dummy/soother has died a death after only really being wanted by Isaac for about 1/2 a day. So now he sucks my finger instead. Although, last night I put a few drops of lavender oil on the muslin that goes under his head in his crib and he didn't need any kind of other soothing for the whole night! (for the times that he wasn't feeding etc). Lavender is good stuff I've decided - the knock out stuff of infants. We'll see how it goes tonight.

The sling continues to be daytime salvation. Isaac doesn't sleep during the day unless he's in the sling. I tried to have a nap the other day, which was hideous. I nearly got to sleep a few times in the course of an hour, but Isaac didn't sleep at all & I eventually gave up & felt like rhubarb for the rest of the day. Dad bought me a wheelie shopper to use in town when I'm wearing the sling & don't have the luxury of being able to carry lots of bags plus baby. It's amazing - thank you me Da!

I shall be glad when Simon has finished with enrolment at uni & he's home at a decent time in the evenings. I don't know what I would've done without Dad being here. He's been great - made me lunch every day & offered words of encouragement and understanding.  He's ace and will be missed when he goes home on Friday...alone at last :-( Bring on the visitors! :-D

Super Pa!

That is all I have to say for now, other than this...

(not Isaac!)

Stuff & things

I ordered our sling yesterday. It's so very beautiful. I bought it from here. This is what it looks like:

Isn't it lovely?! Can't wait til it arrives & there's a Wiggler in it :-)

I bought nappies today. All these things that have been on the list of things to get after our July payday and now the July payday has come & gone and I'm actually buying the things! It's all a bit surreal.

I'm also extremely chipper because I've found some other people who are into more natural parenting near me. Having been somewhat disillusioned with other Mum's forum sites, I've discovered Netmums. The Local meet-a-mum thing is great! I posted something on the board on Saturday, I've had 5 replies since then and it's only Wednesday! Maybe we should start our own group as there doesn't seem to be one that caters for what I want, not that I can find anyway.

I've got so much planned for next week - I've got the sheets that Mum gave me to wash & turn into little fitted sheets for the crib, my freezer paper has arrived so I can make some stencils for the plain bodysuits, I'm knitting a hooded jumper for the Wiggler which needs finishing, I need to wash all of the baby clothes we've got already - how have I been so restrained this far??! Oh I know - I've been at work!

Another piece of extremely good news is that Mum is definitely on the mend :-D We went over to see them on Saturday last week as it was Rosh's 3rd birthday and she came downstairs for the first time in 11 months. That was momentous enough, but then I got a text on Sunday saying she was in Tesco's having a coffee! I spoke to her today & find out that she's been down to their house in Southampton for the day to meet the builder & generally get out & about and hopefully they'll be coming to see me next week when I'm on maternity leave! I'm so very pleased and it's nice to have my Mum back. Love you Mum :-) xxx

I wish this weather would sort itself out - I put some washing out when I got back from my antenatal class today (which was great and 5 of us had lunch together afterwards) and it was almost dry, then the heavens opened. Now 1/2 hour later it's about as dry as it was when it came out of the machine. Gah.

Birth pool arrives next Saturday (1st) woohoo! I love it when a plan comes together :-D