7 months a mother

Forgive my lack of posts, sleeping has been somewhat erratic recently. The clocks changed and it all went wrong. We're back to newborn uncertainty! Seems that bathing before bed  works a treat so we'll continue in this manner every night & see how it goes.

This post is a purely selfish waffle. I'm writing about me. Isaac's development will follow in due course. So anyhoo. I've been a mother for 7 months now. Some things I wasn't expecting have happened, well quite a few of those, but the main ones are: random hair and losing weight.

While my belly isn't this flat, my jeans were about this much too big

Regarding the weight loss. I was under the impression that, when one had a baby, one lost control of ones stomach muscles and got fat. I believed as much because there is a multitude of products available to "help you get your pre-baby body back" - exercise DVDs (Cindy Crawford springs to mind), diets, creams, therapies etc. I'll admit to being a little concerned by all this. My weight had crept up to an unacceptable (for me) level before I was pregnant and I really didn't want to get any bigger thank you very much. You can imagine my surprise, then, when the weight started to drop off before my very eyes. Within 2 weeks I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight and dress size. 7 months on I am exactly 2 stone lighter and 2 dress sizes smaller (on the bottom and 1 on top) when compared with pre-pregnancy figures. Needless to say I am delighted for several reasons. 1) I've lost the weight that's been steadily creeping on since my teens. 2) I didn't have to do anything to achieve said loss. 3) I had to go shopping to buy clothes that didn't fall off! It's lovely to be able to shop for clothes in the regular section of stores rather than the plus size bit, something I haven't been able to do for years now. Anyway, I feel great - I just hope it doesn't all come piling back on when the breastfeeding stops.

The Hair, nothing freaky don't worry. At about 4 months pregnant I noticed that I lost a small patch of hair at the front of my scalp. I didn't think anything of it & assumed it was part of the ageing process. Didn't even cross my mind that the raging hormones in my body might be responsible! I looked in the mirror the other day and, lo & behold, it's growing back! This I was not expecting. I was reminded of when I was about 8 or 9 and fed up with the same missing wispy bits of hair. In my infinite wisdom I decided to chop them off so that they weren't there any more. What I didn't realise, and what Mum told me (while smirking) would happen was that the hair would grow back giving me a temporary and horrific mini-fringe. Here I am at the ripe old age of 28, feeling the frustration of a 9 year old, only it's not self inflicted this time.

I've already had the freaky hair loss in the shower thing. I'll explain...I don't brush my hair apart from when I wash it so the way I keep tabs on hair happenings is the amount that comes out in the shower - anyone with hair that needs squeezing in the shower will know what I mean. During pregnancy I noticed that it all but stopped coming out in the shower. Again, I thought nothing of it and got used to it - it made the washing of hair very quick! At about 3 months post birth, my hairs appeared to be jumping ship! I didn't really know what was going on until one of the NCT Mums said that her hairdresser had mentioned it would happen at around 3 months. Phew. I wasn't balding! Massive relief. I guess my hormones are rebalancing because my hair loss is back to pre-pregnancy levels now and it's maintenance levels are too...boo! I could get away with washing it once a week during pregnancy. Back to every other day now.

Click image to zoom for full gory details!

I had my first menstrual period a few weeks ago. I was pretty shocked and a bit stunned! Blood loss has been something to worry about for so long now that I'd nearly forgotten about the monthly joy. It'll be interesting to see how regular it is. Before my pregnancy I was very regular...every 26 days on the dot. I wonder how well my body will return to it's baby-less state? I can always see my acupuncturist again, he who so very skilfully sorted my 'mental-menstruals' before!

The return of the periods also made me a little sad. It means Isaac is needing less milk from me. I know he'll continue to need about a pint a day until he's 1 or so, but still. I'm not his main source of food anymore. Initially I thought weaning was getting my son onto solid food. Now I think it's that as well as weaning me off him.

My caesarean scar has fully healed. It's quite smooth on the left side. The right side is less purple and more that reddy pink of scar tissue; it's nowhere near as bumpy as it has been. and I don't notice it anymore when I pull clothes on etc.

Spring is rolling along nicely. The crocuses and daffodils are shooting up in the garden, there's blossom on the way everywhere and next door's honeysuckle is starting to green. Our trees has little buds on them too. Simon's mowed the lawn for the first time this year and I'm planning raised beds in which to plant the  poor jasminum that's been sitting by the kitchen window in a pot all winter long. I'm shedding clothing layers as the season moves on. I'm wearing my own clothes again as opposed to last year's maternity mish-mash. It may seem trivial, but I didn't realise how much what I wear affects me. Last year I was limited to a range of rubbish maternity clothes; I really didn't have the energy or the inclination to customise. This year I'm back in my old garbs (that still fit) and new ones that I love. I can't even begin to tell you how much happier I am. I suppose the extra weight and hormone trauma didn't help either! I'm like a spring lamb with energy to burn....boing boing boing...waiting for Isaac to join me in running around like a loon - it won't be long!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

A day of firsts

Today Isaac has: eaten his first proper little bowl of food (rather than tasting from the end of my spoon), done a 110° turn in his cot and grabbed (and munched on) his feet. He's been a very busy little fellow, what with his almost non-stop wiggling, and now 3 new things to add to his infant repertoire!

All towels have been removed from the cot bed. It's just him, his blanket and his sleeping bag. I thought he might wake up if he couldn't pull the blanket down over his face, but he seems to manage it wherever! Bless him. It was such a surprise for me to see him at an unfamiliar angle in there. He wiggles the most in his sleep I reckon.

The feet thing was hilarious, for both of us. I was changing his nappy and momentarily looked away to put the used nappy in the bag. I heard a squeal of laughter & looked back to see him grinning like nobody's business with his sock clad toes in his mouth! He now seems to know that those weird things that Mummy puts colourful things on are actually part of his own anatomy.

Coming up on Eating News: banana, but first a little background surrounding The Weaning. I took him to clinic to get him weighed on Thursday last week and he had lost 3oz :-( I was surprised at the time, but thinking about it now, I'm not. Since he's been sleeping through the night he hasn't been having any extra feeds during the day and he hasn't increased the duration of his current feeds either. Since last Thursday I've been giving him an extra feed before bed, which he would usually refuse, but he's been quite happily chowing down so we'll stick with that methinks. A suggestion was made a few weeks ago by HV to wean him around now. Since then she's relaxed about the issue as she's seen that I'm really not worried about him & that (other than not conforming to WHO weight gain charts) he's quite a happy wee wiggler. Anyhoo, at my baby group on Friday last week she mentioned it again to see if it would help him gain weight. He's been getting much more interested in food/eating over the past week or so (to the point where I have to put my bowl in the middle of the table almost so that he doesn't get his fingers in my dinner! Not that I mind, but babies aren't supposed to have anything with added salt so grown up food is a no-no right now.) He's displaying other signs that he's ready, such as not seeming satisfied after every feed, putting everything in his mouth etc, which makes me more confident that weaning is a good idea rather than forcing it on him before he's ready just to fit the "norm".  I've been dutifully expressing each night for about a week to build up a stock of freezer milk to add to food to make it the right consistency for Mr Man. It's actually convenient (weaning wise) that I only get 1 oz a time because then I can easily freeze small amounts. I'd still like to be able to express lots for emergencies, but hey.

Today I took the plunge and, after his first feed, gave him a very small  mashed up piece of banana (about 1/6th) mixed with some breast milk. He. Totally. Loved. It. So much so that I gave him some more after his 3 o'clockish feed - scoffed the lot. He was wise to the spoon by this afternoon and wanted to hold it himself. I'm all for baby-led weaning, but I might leave that until A) he can sit up and thus not choke, and B) until I have more bibs and some sort of floor protection!! So I've made a list of items to purchase after payday to help us on our way. We've already got blenders/whizzers/wands etc so that expense has been spared. What we really needs are...spoons, BIBS! with plastic backing, wee pots/ice cube trays & tubs and some non-slip bottomed bowls (for the baby-led business). The NCT weaning lady also said that teaching them to use a cup early on rather than the spouty things is better so I'm investigating doidy cups.

He really does seem to love it. While I'm really pleased that our first foray into solid food has gone well, I can't help but be sad that this is the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. It was tedious at first, but I think I'm really going miss it. It's afforded us such beautiful quiet time *sigh* won't be long until he's eating family food with us. As goes the cliché - how fast they grow! Or maybe I'm just having too much fun?

Getting my craft (back) on…again…and breastfeeding gush

So I couldn't help myself. I've stencilled again!!

 

 

I think I like his face the most...smug, yet benign.I couldn't stop myself buying some plain tops today from H&M. Watch this space for more freezer paper antics!

Isaac at 12 weeks, with hat

In other crafty news, Isaac needs a slightly bigger hat. The one pictured left is now not quite big enough to comfortably keep his 19 week old cranium completely covered. It's amazing the growth that occurs in only 6 weeks! *scratches head & tries to remember what size hook was used for this hat*

Now for the breastfeeding. The more I learn about breastfeeding, the more I marvel at the wonder and beauty of nature. We went to our NCT weaning course on Sunday, yesterday. We got onto mixing breast milk with mashed up fruit etc in the early days of weaning to up the calorific value and so we talked about expressing. Now, I've given up trying to express because it's soul destroying to only get 1/2 oz from each boob each time. What I didn't realise is (and call me stupid for not) that if you do it regularly at the same time every day, your body actually starts to produce more at that specific time. WOW! That wow has 2 parts - A) I cannot believe that I missed that completely. You really do lose part of your brain post-birth huh? B) How incredible is that? How totally and utterly mind bogglingly amazing? Not only does the human female body  provide everything a baby needs up to approximately 8 months (depending on which government you decide to listen to), it constantly changes it's milk production to meet the exact needs of its growing baby, factoring in such things as illness (& the provision of antibodies) and calorific content AND it can schedule in additional production times/change feeding schedules/reduce feeding schedules in accordance with the baby/ies feeding from it. Now that's what I call absolute perfection.

Right, I've gushed enough for one evening. T'ra!

3 months today!

Well...at 11.42pm at least.

My GAHD! Where does the time go? I looked at the calendar yesterday and it's December?? During the last 3 months we have been officially travelling at Warp 8, fcuk Impulse! (No disrespect J-L.P.).

I think the 3 month mark is the magic moment for us. I finally have a firmer grip on life with Isaac. It's all been a bit of an ordeal so far, but the past 5 days or so have seen the return of Sarah as she was known, pre-Isaac. She isn't mentally 100% as she seems to have lost some brain power, and now seems to be referring to herself in the 3rd person. Hmm.

So anyway, back to Little Man. Breastfeeding/milk is now definitely established & there's less frustrated screaming because it doesn't let down quick enough. Although he did feed every 2 hours today - 3 month growth spurt methinks? Would also explain the feeding every 2 hours on the dot. Bless him. Still haven't got into expressing. Might wait until this growth spurt is over & then give it a go as it shouldn't upset supply & demand then.

I put him in his door bouncer for the first time proper the other day. His feet now reach the floor. He doesn't bounce as such, but spins it round while he surveys his kingdom (and has stare downs with the dog).

 

Doggy Stare Down

We've been to Cine Babies at the Quad for the past 2 months. Only 9 more of those :-( It's such a good idea, mainly because it doesn't matter if your baby screams because there will be other babies screaming too & everyone expects it! Hurrah! Next month: Me & Orson Welles.

I've taken him swimming twice. That one is tricky because the swimming class I went to is at 11.15am which is when he usually wants to be asleep. I've found another one which is MUCH closer (within walking distance rather than 20 minute drive) in the hospital hydrotherapy pool. Have emailed the woman so will see what comes of that. Took him into the teaching pool with Simon & the girls today. I don't think he was that impressed with the actual in-the-water bit, but there was minimal crying & only a bit of whimpering, until back in the changing room when I unwrapped his towel & took off his baby snug. Even then it was OK because he went straight into another dry towel followed closely by clothses. I think he was tired. Which leads nicely into my next topic.

Sleep.

The Little Man won't sleep until he's the-most-tired-ever.com. During the day that is. At night he sleeps from about 6.30pm-7pm for between 5 & 7 hours, wakes for a feed/nappy change & then goes back to sleep for between 2& 3 hours. This was great when his last wake up was 6am, but it's been 4.30am of late. This does not go down well in the Turner house, for Ma or Pa. It's difficult to keep him up until 7/7.30pm though because he's so tired and grumpy. I think it's time to re-evaluate his nap schedule. He still naps best in't sling. He does sleep in his pram basket for about an hour, but only after 10 minutes of grizzling. Balls to HV. I'm sticking to my guns about baby wearing. He also doesn't settle properlyuntil he's had some comfort sucking on me. I've tried to slip my nipple out of his mouth & replace it with a soother to no avail. The boy ain't stupid. He knows what he wants & that's real live boob. People say it'll develop bad habits, but I dunno. He's a little tiny baby who wants his Mamma, who am I to deny him that?

We're looking to get a new carrier in the New Year as the Hug-a-Bub is great while he's still relatively small, but as he grows it's going to become  impractical. The H-a-B is supposed to be worn with the loose bits tied around ones hips. Having a waist smaller than my hips makes this difficult because it rides up & then loosens the rest of the sling meaning he's all flopping everywhere & his head falls back at some weird ass angle. So. We're going to get an Ergo carrier. I've spent hours, literally hours, pouring over different types of soft carrier wondering which would be best.  Should we get a mei tai type (which I very nearly did) or a clip fastening type? I saw a lady the first time we went to Cine Babies with a backpack style carrier & when we went again I asked her what it was. I had a look at it & it seems great! If you can be bothered there's LOADS of information on their website all about baby wearing, its benefits, why it won't wreck your back (HVs new tactic to discourage). It has a sleep hood which is very important for us as Isaac loves to sleep in the sling. It can be worn front, back & hip. Sold. Galaxy grey to the lady with the tattoos.

Something that reassures me in my baby wearing ways is the reading I've done about how humans are parent clingers, i.e.: not meant to be left in nests like birds/mice etc - makes sense as we're descended from apes (sorry Mrs Palin) whose young are carried constantly during the early part of their lives. Research shows that baby wearing doesn't make clingy, spoiled children; it reassures them and creates emotionally balanced and secure individuals. So, we're meant to be carried around all of the time until we want to walk on our own? Yes! Sucks for people who don't really like their kids!

Little Man smiles lots of the time now. He's such a charmer :-) I think I even heard a silvery peal of laughter the other day! His hair is getting thicker and his legs longer. However, longer legs = unable to tuck up in the sling anymore so feeties get cold! OH NO! Fear not! I've just found these brilliant things. Extra long merino wool booties :-) From the rather awesomely named site, Fanny Fanackapants! Back on track. He likes singing & being jiggled about on his changing mat so I think we're going to start going to rhyme time and maybe even TinyTalk in the new year. We just weren't ready before. I've even discovered how to tie my scarf so that he's not suffocated by it while in-sling. I did have a picture, but I've lost it :-( Soz.

So now it's time for me to go to bed, at the rock n roll hour of 10pm - here's hoping tomorrow doesn't start at 4.30am!

2 months on

Now that he is just over 2 months I feel things are settling down into some semblance of a routine, on more days than not. Nights aren't always as unpredictable and horrific as they used to be, we manage between 4 and 5 consecutive hours sleep at best and he slept for 7 straight hours the other night! Incredible! During the day he naps in the sling and at night he sleeps in his pram in our room on the floor (the basket bit detaches from the chassis - this will help transition to crib no doubt). We think the sense of space in the crib was a little too much for him and the size of our room was overwhelming. The pram has a hood that comes up so he feels more enclosed. With hindsight I think a Moses basket would have been more appropriate for this particular Little Man, but we weren't to know. HV wasn't convinced that the sling was appropriate after 4 weeks, but I think the sense of closeness it promotes is invaluable while developing our bond and means that he really does sleep during the day rather than snatching 20 minutes sleep between draining feeding sessions. I forgot the sling when I went to Mum's on Monday which was a complete nightmare until we improvised on out of 2 pashminas!

Improv sling-prov

I have since been into town and bought 4 pashminas from the lady in Westfield with a view to making an additional sling. Now...when will I have the time to do that?!

Also whilst at Mum's I looked through some baby pictures of me. My GAHD! He rather looks like I did!

Isaac 8 weeks

Sarah 5 months

Breastfeeding is now going well; milk seems to be established. I've given up trying to express apart from at weekends when Simon can sling him. Seems that whatever I express only gets given to him a few days later. I'll get back on the case again, just not yet. It seems whenever I'm getting low about something Isaac related, I pick up a copy of Juno and find an article that reassures me and makes me feel a million times better. The latest edition has a brilliant article about breastfeeding. The author practises energy work and incorporates this into her breastfeeding strategy. I love the approach and it made me realise that I'd been quite selfish while feeding my boy. Since I've stopped watching things on the TV while feeding him I've noticed that he feeds better and is much happier. This might seem obvious to many, but I think I was being a little short sighted about the whole affair. Breastfeeding isn't just about filling a tummy, it's about building a relationship with your child and how can you do that it you aren't even paying attention? *Slaps forehead* It's easy to forget that he's only an ickle bebe and get worked up that there's so much you need to get done, but just can't. I'm getting used to the levels of dust with which we co-habit. I get so frustrated sometimes, especially at night when I'm tired and crying for sleep, or when we've planned something that we can't participate in fully because he's tired or hungry. I think having a mantra to repeat to myself helps enormously. It removes me from what's right in front of me, just long enough to get fresh perspective so that I can carry on with the same love that he deserves all the time. Kudos to Dad for suggesting the idea.

Having read about Ayurvedic eating for myself (being a Kapha sucks), I decided to see what I thought Isaac was. From what I can tell about him so far he seems to be Vata. Boo! I found this out about Vata babies from here:

"Babies and children with a predominance of Vata find it hard to gain weight.  Their sleep is easily disturbed and they have a tendency towards wind and colic.  They dislike the cold or being exposed to windy conditions. On the whole they have low, delicate appetites and love sweet, warm food. By nature they are daydreamers and enjoy watching trees blowing in the wind or clouds moving across the sky."

To a tee. He's underneath the bottom line on the weight gaining chart in my red book which I think the HVs are going to get excited about tomorrow when I get him weighed, BUT he has wet & dirty nappies and doesn't look emaciated at all. He feeds OK, seems fine to me. Isn't too windy any more as I wind him meticulously when he needs it (thanks to Dunstan Baby Language for word/cry understanding!) He does love to watch things and has a good nose whenever possible. I took him into town in the sling the other day and it was the first time he'd really experienced a bitter cold wind. He really didn't like it and kept burying his face into my chest. I think there's definitely something in it and will bear it in mind when weaning. Talking of which, we're booked onto an NCT weaning course in January.

I still haven't managed to go out. It isn't really possible while I'm not expressing  and I frankly don't have the energy or the inclination. I had half a cider (all I was allowed by the landlady!), a glass of pink fizzy stuff & half a can of Carlsberg (spread out over about 7 hours) on Halloween and I felt bloody awful!  Is this a new non-alcoholic Sarah? The odd glass of wine every now and then seems to be OK, but I can't even think about drinking lots.

Auntie Kate

Auntie Anna

Isaac has now met 2 out of 3 not-Godparents. Auntie Kate & Auntie Anna have both been to visit :-) We need a better name than not-Godparents. Any suggestions? The official title as used by registrars is Special Adults. Special Adults? Hmm. Not for us!

The days are literally flying by and I'm sure he'll be 6 months before I even know it. I'm trying to enjoy him being so little because it won't last forever, it's trying at times because I know it'll be easier when he does sleep for longer and my head doesn't feel like it's full of cotton wool. Then I'll be wishing he was small and cuddly again!

Sleep deprivation and other stories

"Everything is at a hazy distance. I know someone's talking to me, but I can't quite focus on the content of their word stream and I find my eyes glazing over while I dream of my bed."

I used to feel like that the day after a after a night out while my still alcohol soaked brain attempted to recover. It isn't how I feel every day, but it was how I felt yesterday after, possibly, 2 hours sleep? Even then it was snatched from between 20 minute & 1/2 hour slots allowed by Little Man. Isaac has now reached the point in his young life where he doesn't automatically fall asleep when he gets tired. No no no, that would be too simple. He now gets overtired (Dianne I thought of you when I said that!). Lucky Mummy & Daddy! Especially Mummy as she's the one with boob juice. Seeing as how he doesn't sleep properly in the day unless he's in the sling, catching up with aforementioned lost sleep doesn't really happen. I think we're quite lucky though, that if he sleeps OK during the day then he settles after changing/feeding at night. For instance, last night we got 2 3 hour stretches and the last one might have even been closer to 4 hours!

I've been having a few issues with our breast feeding experience. It seems that he always wants to be on the boob (typical man LOL) and I worry that he isn't getting enough and that he's starving, especially as he hadn't put any weight on when weighed by a health visitor week before last. It doesn't help that we've had thrush either (me - nipples, him - oral). We initially thought it was bad attachment causing my nips to rub against the top of his mouth, but it's all cleared up now - for me at least. I think he still has it in his mouth, but it doesn't interfere with feeds and I don't seem to have got it back again so I'm hoping it'll go on its own.

Anyhoo, I digress (massively).

Breastfeeding is an unknown quantity for me. I can't see how much goes into him when he feeds and pumping isn't an accurate reflection of how much he gets as he's much more efficient at getting the milk out of me than a machine. It's extremely worrying when all he seems to do is cry when he isn't feeding or asleep. It's tied in with the not liking to be left alone thing. Everything muddles together and is very difficult to articulate intelligently, so forgive my jumbled description. I'm getting more confident with how to breastfeed, but I guess it's something that comes with time, experience and talking to those others with experience. I go to a breastfeeding group on Friday mornings at my local children's centre. It's very good and everyone is nice. Plus there are toys for when he's old enough to start appreciating them.

Isaac Andrew Wiggler has different cries for different things (as all babies do) and I'm getting better at distinguishing between them. Hungry is VERY loud and repetitive, which figures because it's a life threatening thing if he doesn't get to eat so he needs to make sure I can hear him! Wet/dirty nappy is more of a pissed off cry, figures. There's nothing worse than sitting in your own wee and poo! Tired is interesting. It's more wavering and half-arsed. Overtired is a combination of all of the above, making it the most difficult to decipher. We run through everything  (Clean nappy? Check. Fed? Check. Cuddles? Check) before realising that he's been awake for ages and needs to sleep. D'oh!

I remembered reading an article in the Spring 2009 edition of Juno magazine entitled "Crying: an explanation of why babies cry" by Teresa Pitman. I re-read it earlier this evening and it brought tears to my eyes, particularly the final paragraph which reads as follows:

"As a La Leche League leader, I often get calls from mothers who are worried that either they don't have enough milk or there is something wrong with their milk, because their babies cry "too much". When I ask them to describe what their baby is doing, here's what I get: "Well, I breastfeed for twenty minutes, then I put him down in the crib, and he cries,. I pick him up: he stops crying. If I carry him around, he's not too bad, but every time I put him down, he cries. And sometimes in the evening all he'll do is breastfeed and cry. I don't know if he's just starving or it's something I'm eating.

Of course I do explore those possible concerns with the mother, but most often it turns out that her baby is just being a baby, adjusting to beng out in the world and doing what his instincts tell him will keep him safe, ensure a good milk supply and keep him close to the parents he loves."

I feel almightily relieved, reassured and other brilliant words beginning with R that reiterate (!) how great it made me feel! Earlier in the article, the notion of spoiling a baby was discussed and the general consensus (based on years of research of Western and tribal cultures) was that in Western culture, we don't trust our instincts (this is what I took from it anyway). In tribal cultures, if a baby cries he's picked up and soothed. He's carried around in a sling in an upright position so that he's close to his mother and always protected. He's always offered the breast when he cries. These are all things that I think are important. However, my health visitor tells me that using the sling past 4 weeks is a bad thing. I think differently. The Hug-a-bub website reads as follows:

"Social conditioning has led parents to believe that if a baby is held or carried too frequently they will be spoilt, clingy or demanding. Modern research reveals quite the opposite. The physical and psychological benefits associated with baby wearing encourage children to feel secure and content and build a solid sense of self-esteem.

Babywearing not only promotes an intimate connection between parent and baby, it is hailed as one of the most important factors in the healthy physical, intellectual and social development of infants. It promotes good digestion which is believed to greatly eases the distressing symptoms of colic and reflux."

Now, I know that they want sales, but it's not the only place that I've read such positive things about baby wearing. For muchos información go to The BabyWearer.com, naturalmothering.co.uk, or check out some more bullet points on the Hug-a-bub website. So, ner to you HV.

Something else my HV said was that face spots was completely normal in babies. I remembered that Isaac didn't have any until, through exhaustion and lack of will to cook, I caved in and ate a pizza. The next day he came out in a rash of angry red pimples on his cheeks. I don't eat a lot of dairy as a rule so I decided to cut it out completely. I also (at the recommendation of an NCT friend) put some breast milk on the spots. Within a few hours they had calmed down dramatically and have only come back (on a smaller scale) when I've given in and had something with dairy in it. So. A decision has been made by me to go vegan. I'd considered veganism before he was born and have been gravitating that way for a while now, but it's through sheer laziness on my part that I haven't made the switch sooner. We have so many vegan cook books and our evening meals are usually vegan anyway; now I'm convinced that it's the logical way forward.

We have our 6 week postnatal check next week and an appointment has been booked for his immunisations, despite HV saying she'd get a message put in Isaac's medical notes to say we didn't want them. Typical.

Anyhoo, Little Man was weighed again this week and has put on some weight. Not much, but some. As goes the mantra - all babies are different. So I try not to worry, feed him when he cries and love him all the time.

Odds & sods

After the initial telephone call of doom on Friday afternoon, the visit went well and I actually really like my Health Visitor! She gave me some really useful breastfeeding tips and advice. Looks like I'll be going along to her breastfeeding group across the road on Friday mornings. Turns out the Well Baby clinic is only over the road too so that makes things easy :-) She put things in perspective, in that at the moment all Little Man knows is sucking, crying, sleeping, weeing & pooing. He's doing well on all those fronts so I guess I must be doing something right. Apart from maybe the sleeping thing, but not all babies sleep as much as each other do they? He does OK at night; obviously we don't get as much sleep as we'd like, but I seem to have night feeds down so that helps.

She also talked to me about the birth. She was surprised that, as I'd had spontaneous membrane rupture & planned a home birth, that I'd ended up having a caesarean. I explained that the midwives who came at 4am asked me to go into hospital for a CTG & I'd ended up staying & she was of the opinion that, as I'd been taken out of my own surroundings into a strange unfamiliar environment, that my body had shut down & decided not to give birth then. Sounds about right to me! I'd thought this already, but didn't want to really believe it. I can't help wondering what would've happened if I'd gone home. There's absolutely no point doing this though as it's now in the past, Le Wiggler est ici & he's healthy etc. Anyhoo...food for thought.

Wheelie-shopper-of-greatness!

How are things going? They're going well. We've had a few nightmare days when I wanted to curl up & die, but who doesn't, right? The dummy/soother has died a death after only really being wanted by Isaac for about 1/2 a day. So now he sucks my finger instead. Although, last night I put a few drops of lavender oil on the muslin that goes under his head in his crib and he didn't need any kind of other soothing for the whole night! (for the times that he wasn't feeding etc). Lavender is good stuff I've decided - the knock out stuff of infants. We'll see how it goes tonight.

The sling continues to be daytime salvation. Isaac doesn't sleep during the day unless he's in the sling. I tried to have a nap the other day, which was hideous. I nearly got to sleep a few times in the course of an hour, but Isaac didn't sleep at all & I eventually gave up & felt like rhubarb for the rest of the day. Dad bought me a wheelie shopper to use in town when I'm wearing the sling & don't have the luxury of being able to carry lots of bags plus baby. It's amazing - thank you me Da!

I shall be glad when Simon has finished with enrolment at uni & he's home at a decent time in the evenings. I don't know what I would've done without Dad being here. He's been great - made me lunch every day & offered words of encouragement and understanding.  He's ace and will be missed when he goes home on Friday...alone at last :-( Bring on the visitors! :-D

Super Pa!

That is all I have to say for now, other than this...

(not Isaac!)

Where to begin?

Booby baby & hemp burger at Eco Fest

So here we are at the end of Isaac's second week out of the womb and it still hasn't really sunk in that I'm someone's mother. Even typing it and reading it back sounds utterly ridiculous. I'm responsible for the well-being and development of a small person. Who let this happen?!

We've been out and about quite a bit considering the caesarean. We've been into town a few times and today went to Eco-Fest at Markeaton Park which was great. It was lovely to be out in the sunshine and surrounded by loads of other people. It's a bit surreal though; feels as though they're at a distance, not included in our little family bubble and therefore not relevant. I'm sure as I get more used to our new life that it will become less weird. I hope so anyway!

How's he doing then? He's doing fabulously and now has eyelashes! My staples came out on day 6 and the community midwife was pleased with how my scar was healing. She weighed Isaac, who had only lost 5% of his birth weight, which apparently is good.

At barely 8 days old he got conjunctivitis in his right eye. It was soon sorted after a visit to the doctor and some drops. It cleared up after about 2 days and shows no sign of returning. I would rather not have put anything in his eyes as I know conjunctivitis clears up on its own, but the poor little mite doesn't have the capacity with which to make his own healing tears yet :-(

We all went to the postnatal clinic for our 10 day check rather than waiting at home for the community midwife again as she didn't arrive until 7pm for our day 5 appointment! Poor woman should've finished at 4pm, but had several emergency appointments and decided to keep going rather than rearrange appointments. Anyhoo, we weren't discharged from midwife care because his cord hadn't then dropped off and, with 4oz to go, he wasn't back up to birth weight. The midwife was pleased with my scar and again commented on how good it looked (?) considering it was only 10 days after the operation. One forgets that a caesarean is actually major surgery.

Isaac's cord came away on day 11 and he now has a nice little pink belly button which is healing well. It's very cute :-) We've got another appointment at the postnatal clinic on Tuesday so we'll see if he's back up to birth weight by then. I can't imagine that he won't be judging by the amount he eats!! I'm really noticing the need to drink massive quantities of water; if I don't I get awful dehydration headaches.

Mother's Milk

Breastfeeding is going well. It doesn't hurt per se, but sometimes feels a little uncomfortable. He sometimes feeds for hours at a time, but I realise now that it's not all feeding, but comfort sucking. With this in mind we did the dreaded and tried him with a dummy. We really, really didn't want to, but he's so much happier with it. I don't like how it squashes against his nose, but maybe that's just how he was lying in the car seat? Plus there's a limit as to how much of the day I can sit with my boobs out!! If he's hungry he spits it out and cries, so I feed him. If he isn't hungry, he's happy to suck on the little plastic and rubber marvel. I expressed some milk for the first time yesterday. 2oz in about 3 minutes! Apparently that's good. I'm not an experienced expresser, so wouldn't know. It was very satisfying though! It'll mean that Simon can help with feeding too. This is good because it'll A) give me a break and B) include him more in Isaac based activities.

Simon goes back to work on Monday. Neither of us want him to go and if Isaac could talk I think he'd say the same. He's been an enormous help with things like making sure I'm fed and watered and doing the laundry. Mum's coming up for the day tomorrow to keep me company and then Dad's coming  up tomorrow evening to stay for a few days to help me while I get used to Simon being at work.It's rubbish that Dads only get 2 weeks paternity leave. Apparently the rules are changing and Dads will be allowed to take 6 months leave soon, but it has to be deducted from the Mother's allowance. How is that fair/does that work? Hmm.

The hospital discharged me with 7 days worth of diclofenac (anti-inflammatory).  I took those and paracetamol 3 times a day for the 7 days and haven't taken anything other than arnica since. I'm feeling much stronger now, although I'm not supposed to lift anything heavier than a baby or drive for 6 weeks, which sucks. The doctor did say to go with how I feel though and I do feel a lot better. I think I may be back on the road before the 6 weeks is up. As long as I can lift the pram in and out of the car that is! Having the caesarean has totally thrown me. I wasn't expecting to have to sit on my arse and recover. I'd much rather be out and about doing stuff and making new mum friends. Ho hum, I guess that's the way it's going to have to be for a few more weeks at least. I can't even wear my sling at the moment because it puts uncomfortable pressure on my scar. So, I really do have to sit on my arse and recover. Bring on the hands free days of sling!

For all the lack of sleep and feeding marathons, I wouldn't change a thing; I want him to stay tiny forever, if only for moments like this when he's asleep on my chest making little contented noises. I know it's not possible, so I cherish each moment as it happens.

I don't think the dog likes being further down the ranks though!