I’ve been naughty…

I went into Polarn O. Pyret today...there wasn't a sale on...BAD SARAH!

I couldn't resist these, aren't they the cutest?!

So, that's me & Simon eating beans on toast for a week!

Random words

I said I'd write about Isaac in my last post, but I haven't posted anything since 6th April. With it now being 24th April I decided it was high time I pulled my finger out & wrote! Some of the delay can be blamed on our unplanned "extra holiday" in Spain owing to a certain Icelandic volcano and its ash emissions. We should've been home on the afternoon of 18th April, but made it back on the night of 22nd instead. Isaac was a little star the whole time. He really is a placid little thing. He made lots of friends on holiday and took the travelling (flights & hideous coach journeys) in his stride and didn't seem upset at all by the time change. It was only an hour - we'll see how he fares next month when we go to Florida. I'm sure he'll be fine. How can he not be? He's perfect :-) Having travelled a 20 hour coach journey with him has made me realise - we can do anything.

Before our [dreaded] holiday I kept a note of Isaac-related things I wanted to write about in my Isaac-related post and now I sit down to write it, they don't really make any sense - just words on paper: hair, solids, sleeping, clothes, interested and nappies. Hmm. I'm sure they all made perfect sense when I wrote them! So much has scrambled my brain over the past week that I'm just going to have to hazard a guess as to what each meant.

Hair - it can't be my hair because I wrote about that already in my last post. Isaac's hair is lovely. It's so soft and fluffy. He's developing a little mohawk that makes it's best appearance when he wakes up from his night sleep. His slightly frightening baby mullet that emerged from the womb with him has now gone and he has the perfect little boy do right now. I'm just going to let it grow I think, see where that takes us.

Solids - yes, he eats them. What did I mean?? Hmm. I guess he eats a lot more now than he used to (!) ? He isn't a huge fan of the baby led weaning and seems to want the food in his mouth RIGHT NOW! Hungry boy. Purée/mashing it is. Who am I to argue? The kid knows what he wants. I'm finding myself up against a brick wall with vegan weaning. At a recent weigh-in, when questioned about what to give him, the weighing HV said "well you're more qualified than me to say really". Thanks for your complete and unwavering help and advice. I feel so...supported. Back to the drawing board with that one. All suggestions gratefully received!

Sleeping - since the commencement of solid food, Isaac hasn't been sleeping through the night. We've had one or two nights of uninterrupted sleep, but otherwise he sleeps from around 7pm until between 1am & 4am, has a nappy change & a feed & then goes back to sleep until just before 7am. I still think we're incredibly lucky that he doesn't wake more often.

Clothes - he's still in 3 - 6 months sized clothing. See, he's very long, but not very wide. He's not a porker by any stretch of the imagination. The 3-6 month bottoms are so loose around his little waist, they'll do him for a while methinks. It's a good job summer is on the way (or are we having it now?) so that I can pass short trousers off as 3/4 lengths or turn them up into shorts. I'd love to know from where the basis for children's clothing sizes comes as I know a few other babies who find clothing too big for the size.

What is this noise machine??

Interested - Isaac is so much more interested in everything around him now! It's so lovely to watch. He still isn't overly fussed with toys, preferring household objects - measuring cups, pegs, his monitor (the parent unit), the telephone (he's particularly taken with speaker phone!) He does love his little jangly bell froggy and his cuddly squeaky dog. His little face lights up and he does this amazingly cute little grab and grin when I pull it out of my bag :-D He also LOVES Rinny. She's always doing something so he always has something to watch. He very much enjoys our play time with her which consists of *me throwing the ball for her & her chasing after it & bringing it back, (rep from * until someone gets bored). He can watch this for a very long time!

Nappies - I know this one! He's finally moved up a nappy size! Woohoo! I don't know why I'm so pleased, I suppose it's physical evidence that's he's gaining weight and growing. So, we're now on size 3 Bambo Nature nappies! Just before we changed sizes, his other ones still fit him, but leaked a couple of times so we decided to move up a size and it's all going swimmingly.

While I've been writing the above I've made a mental note of some more I'd like to add: weight, smile, character, squeal.

Weight - at the last weigh in he was 12lbs exactly. Now, that's still about 3lbs under any kind of "normal" on the breastfed baby chart in his red book, but seriously. Who cares? He's healthy and happy. I could understand the need for concern if he was all skin and bone and wasn't himself, but he is. So. I see nothing wrong with him being the weight he is. HV comments are like water off a ducks back now. In one and out t'other.

Smile - he's beautiful enough already without him smiling, but when he does, oh boy. I melt. My face explodes into a super smile and I feel so overwhelmingly full of happiness and complete adoration for my little Wiggler. He smiles. A lot. He even smiles when you can tell he's tired or not feeling so great, only not for as long.

Character - our Little Man is such a character. Over the past few days I've noticed his personality start to come out. I'm looking forward to seeing more of it!

 Squeal - he's developed a sort of squeal that goes so high pitched it becomes silent. It's not a bad thing, just something he does. Right now I have some sort of throat thing so I can join in the disappearing squeal making!

Here ends the random wordage.

Ok. One more. Maybe two.

Own room.

I put the blackout blind up today and Isaac has gone to bed in his own room tonight for the first time. I'm looking forward to going to bed in our room and having a little read before I turn the light out. Honest. I'm very sad that he's not in there with us anymore. In-fact, I'm a bit downhearted that he's gone, but we were disturbing him when we came to bed and discovered he sleeps better on his own while we were on holiday. *sigh* Our room feels much emptier now, although there are actually more pieces of furniture in it now we've swapped his cot for our chest of drawers etc.

And now for the final two. Promise.

Separation anxiety.

Little Man loves his Mama.

7 months a mother

Forgive my lack of posts, sleeping has been somewhat erratic recently. The clocks changed and it all went wrong. We're back to newborn uncertainty! Seems that bathing before bed  works a treat so we'll continue in this manner every night & see how it goes.

This post is a purely selfish waffle. I'm writing about me. Isaac's development will follow in due course. So anyhoo. I've been a mother for 7 months now. Some things I wasn't expecting have happened, well quite a few of those, but the main ones are: random hair and losing weight.

While my belly isn't this flat, my jeans were about this much too big

Regarding the weight loss. I was under the impression that, when one had a baby, one lost control of ones stomach muscles and got fat. I believed as much because there is a multitude of products available to "help you get your pre-baby body back" - exercise DVDs (Cindy Crawford springs to mind), diets, creams, therapies etc. I'll admit to being a little concerned by all this. My weight had crept up to an unacceptable (for me) level before I was pregnant and I really didn't want to get any bigger thank you very much. You can imagine my surprise, then, when the weight started to drop off before my very eyes. Within 2 weeks I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight and dress size. 7 months on I am exactly 2 stone lighter and 2 dress sizes smaller (on the bottom and 1 on top) when compared with pre-pregnancy figures. Needless to say I am delighted for several reasons. 1) I've lost the weight that's been steadily creeping on since my teens. 2) I didn't have to do anything to achieve said loss. 3) I had to go shopping to buy clothes that didn't fall off! It's lovely to be able to shop for clothes in the regular section of stores rather than the plus size bit, something I haven't been able to do for years now. Anyway, I feel great - I just hope it doesn't all come piling back on when the breastfeeding stops.

The Hair, nothing freaky don't worry. At about 4 months pregnant I noticed that I lost a small patch of hair at the front of my scalp. I didn't think anything of it & assumed it was part of the ageing process. Didn't even cross my mind that the raging hormones in my body might be responsible! I looked in the mirror the other day and, lo & behold, it's growing back! This I was not expecting. I was reminded of when I was about 8 or 9 and fed up with the same missing wispy bits of hair. In my infinite wisdom I decided to chop them off so that they weren't there any more. What I didn't realise, and what Mum told me (while smirking) would happen was that the hair would grow back giving me a temporary and horrific mini-fringe. Here I am at the ripe old age of 28, feeling the frustration of a 9 year old, only it's not self inflicted this time.

I've already had the freaky hair loss in the shower thing. I'll explain...I don't brush my hair apart from when I wash it so the way I keep tabs on hair happenings is the amount that comes out in the shower - anyone with hair that needs squeezing in the shower will know what I mean. During pregnancy I noticed that it all but stopped coming out in the shower. Again, I thought nothing of it and got used to it - it made the washing of hair very quick! At about 3 months post birth, my hairs appeared to be jumping ship! I didn't really know what was going on until one of the NCT Mums said that her hairdresser had mentioned it would happen at around 3 months. Phew. I wasn't balding! Massive relief. I guess my hormones are rebalancing because my hair loss is back to pre-pregnancy levels now and it's maintenance levels are too...boo! I could get away with washing it once a week during pregnancy. Back to every other day now.

Click image to zoom for full gory details!

I had my first menstrual period a few weeks ago. I was pretty shocked and a bit stunned! Blood loss has been something to worry about for so long now that I'd nearly forgotten about the monthly joy. It'll be interesting to see how regular it is. Before my pregnancy I was very regular...every 26 days on the dot. I wonder how well my body will return to it's baby-less state? I can always see my acupuncturist again, he who so very skilfully sorted my 'mental-menstruals' before!

The return of the periods also made me a little sad. It means Isaac is needing less milk from me. I know he'll continue to need about a pint a day until he's 1 or so, but still. I'm not his main source of food anymore. Initially I thought weaning was getting my son onto solid food. Now I think it's that as well as weaning me off him.

My caesarean scar has fully healed. It's quite smooth on the left side. The right side is less purple and more that reddy pink of scar tissue; it's nowhere near as bumpy as it has been. and I don't notice it anymore when I pull clothes on etc.

Spring is rolling along nicely. The crocuses and daffodils are shooting up in the garden, there's blossom on the way everywhere and next door's honeysuckle is starting to green. Our trees has little buds on them too. Simon's mowed the lawn for the first time this year and I'm planning raised beds in which to plant the  poor jasminum that's been sitting by the kitchen window in a pot all winter long. I'm shedding clothing layers as the season moves on. I'm wearing my own clothes again as opposed to last year's maternity mish-mash. It may seem trivial, but I didn't realise how much what I wear affects me. Last year I was limited to a range of rubbish maternity clothes; I really didn't have the energy or the inclination to customise. This year I'm back in my old garbs (that still fit) and new ones that I love. I can't even begin to tell you how much happier I am. I suppose the extra weight and hormone trauma didn't help either! I'm like a spring lamb with energy to burn....boing boing boing...waiting for Isaac to join me in running around like a loon - it won't be long!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Reflection

Attractive!

I was looking at the pictures of pregnant me the other day. It seems so long ago now. My goodness I was HUGE! MASSEEEEEEEEEEVE! It also seems very weird to think that the Wiggler (as he was then known) is the same Little Man that we hold so very dear today. I remember lying on our hotel room bed in Washington DC watching my belly move around and pop out as the Wiggler kicked and Wiggled around in there, wondering to whom I would give birth.

It's quite difficult for me to link the two and realise them as the same being. It's even more difficult for me to get my head around the fact that I actually grew him in my uterus, from scratch, and that he's perfect in every way. It's such a massive thing to comprehend - a truly justified use for the word awesome. It is awesome, though. Birth is awesome; the creation of life...is awesome. It fills one with awe [and wonder ;-)].

I watch him sometimes and marvel at the tiny veins in his skin, carrying his bloody around his circulatory system. I think about his gnashers growing in his mouth as we speak and then think about him speaking, which is a little weird for me just yet. I think about his digestive system and wonder if he'll choose to continue being vegan once he's old enough to decide. I think about his little lungs taking in oxygen and wonder if he'll ever smoke. I couldn't bear it if he did. I think I'd be indignant, that he would sully something so perfect. But then I would be a hypocrite, I'm sorry Mum. I think about his heart, pumping his blood around his body, carrying the oxygen from him lungs and the nutrients from the food he eats and the milk he drinks, all the time worrying that I'm not eating enough of/feeding him the right things to nourish him properly.

I didn't know what worry was until I had my Wiggler. I accept that I can only do my best and live in hope that it is good enough. Much will be up to him; when that time comes I must take a back seat and let him live as he chooses. I hope I can give him a balanced start and the love and encouragement he needs to be healthy and happy until he (maybe) has Wigglers of his own. Then he can learn what worry is :-D

From me to you

To my darling little boy

This time 6 months ago we were in hospital - you in your weird little plastic tank thing & me swooning over you like a love-struck teenager, albeit creakily - those staples hurt y'know!

How far we've come in these 6 months! We've had tears - so many tears! All a consequence of absolute love for our most precious of gifts. We've had laughter, too. So much laughter! You make us chuckle almost as much as you like to chuckle yourself - master of comedy. It really is incredible to see you develop and learn about the world about you, always curious as to your next move. Only a few days ago you were delighted to learn that your feet could be ticklish and tickled by you! Your fascination with the simplest of objects required that I see through your eyes - how new and exciting everything is again!

You melt my heart every day with your beautiful grin and gorgeous eyes. Your funny little open mouthed kisses on my cheek  make everything else distant and unimportant. Knowing they are intended solely for me, your mother, is the greatest bounty. You are so small and fragile my son, so tiny and helpless. Your need for me is intoxicating.

The bond between us is overwhelming to say the least and I do feel its strain at times. BUT, Isaac Andrew Wiggler Turner, you are the best thing I have ever done. Nothing can change my love for you, nor would I wish it so. You have filled my days with such peaks and troughs! Only a parent could appreciate this kind of devoted undulating emotion. I wouldn't miss this for the world.

That Daddy and I made you from scratch is a daily marvel for me; such perfection. I look forward to each and every minute with you, Isaac.

Love and so much more

Mummy

x

Toys, TV and technology

This started out as a post just about toys, but then I started to write it and discovered that I seem to lump modern toys, TV and technology in the same category, making it difficult to write about one without spilling into the other. Much of this is stuff I hadn't even considered until I had a son of my own, apart from the TV business.

So *draws in deep breath* here we go...

While surfing the Mummy-blogosphere during  morning nap-time a few days ago I came across Dear Baby and got quite caught up in  the beautiful Everly's little San Francisco world with her Mummy & Daddy. One of Melissa's posts in particular resonated with me and my beliefs and succinctly covered everything I believe about children's toys. Essentially she talks about her

"... desire to avoid the plastic, buzzing, blinking crap that our society calls “toys” these days. While I don’t want to deny my daughter anything,  I can’t help but want to think of ways to give her a full, enjoyable youth without drowning her in a room full of mass produced junk that she’ll grow tired of quickly. ... Will our family think we are crazy if we asked them to forgo presents at her birthday party and instead give her their undivided time?"

I've had thoughts about what people will think if we ask them to not buy "regular" kids toys. I don't want to seem fussy and ungrateful;  I completely appreciate the intention is harmless and filled with love, but we'd rather Isaac had toys that encourage his imaginative play than a set of adult created guidelines for him to follow. Or even instead of toys he spent more time with the people who love him. Plus it seems difficult enough to try and instil a sense of value into children as it is, what with media shoving the latest shiny, bright toy into everything they can and other children boasting about how many presents they got from Santa in a playground battle of one-upmanship. In my experience it isn't even what they got from whom, it's how many and how big. There is also a limit as to how much we can store and in a bid to limit our consumerism I'd rather we have less that is appreciated than more that is not. I guess I'm loosely following the attachment parenting ideals of having him with me pretty much everywhere I go, apart from when he sleeps (because the dude likes his own space). He can nearly always at least see me. Because of this he doesn't have a great deal of toys and doesn't seem to be missing out because of it. He has play a play gym, but he doesn't spend long on it - he's more interested in what I'm doing anyway! I quote the same bit of this article from the Guardian (which I recommend you read in full if you're at all interested in what I've written so far) that Melissa does in her post about toys:

"They [children] get overwhelmed and over-stimulated and cannot concentrate on any one thing long enough to learn from it so they just shut down. Too many toys means they are not learning to play imaginatively either."

I'm currently reading 21st Century Boys by Sue Palmer who also pins great importance to imaginative play. Maybe I read too much and should just get on with it, but this stuff really makes sense to me. Much of her book is common sense, but it's nice to read something that had been carefully researched and referenced. Quite early on in the book she discusses what she calls "the technology trap" meaning TV, computer games, mobile phones etc. She talks about a lot of different topics, but the one that has struck a chord with me (and is most obvious to me) is how children learn best by doing things themselves rather than watching someone else do it on TV (or even just being told by a parent). How can a DVD or TV programme possibly replace the connection between a parent and child? Who would even think that a  little baby would rather listen to a CD than their mother talking/singing to them? What kind of F#*$!d up society believes that to be acceptable?? I've always found that experience is the best teacher and I plan on letting Isaac learn by experience, within reason. Obviously I'm not going to let him find out that running across a busy road is dangerous! I remember school Physics lessons (and bear in mind that Physics was my least favourite subject ever): DVDs = ZZZZ time, practical experiments = yay! Back to TV though, bear with me - this is worth it (from 21st Century Boys):

"For many years, the American Academy of Paediatrics has recommended that children under two shouldn't watch TV at all. There was no research to back up this recommendation - just a gut reaction on the part of doctors who knew something about child development. Indeed, it's only in the last few years that research into the effects of technology on children's brains in the first few years of life has begun to trickle through. Studies have now appeared linking early television watching to the male-dominated disorders, ADHD and autism. ...I suspect the technology trap may also be related to many speech and language difficulties and to dyslexia. In 2008, the French government concluded the evidence is strong enough to ban French channels from airing TV programmes aimed at children under three and insist that cable channels display a health warning."

So France has seen fit, but not the UK? There are still the dreaded CBeebies/Milkshake etc which are specifically aimed at very young children. While at the Derby Montessori School open afternoon a few weeks ago, I overheard a teacher talking with a parent about TV. The teacher was explaining to the stunned parent that the recommended amount of TV any child under 11 should be allowed, per day is 1 hour.

We don't have TV in our house. We haven't had TV for about 5 years now and I'm rather glad! We have a TV, but it isn't plugged into an aerial/dish/box so we don't receive any broadcasting. This will, thankfully, massively restrict Isaac's exposure to, as Palmer puts it "the marketing maelstrom". We use it for DVDs and Simon uses it for computer games too. Sure we watch some TV shows, but they are blissfully advert free and watched (a few times a week at most) when Isaac is asleep. Of course, I worry that other children will find it strange that he doesn't watch television - heck I used to think it was odd. Having lived without it for a while now I couldn't imagine having it back in the house. I remember back to my Uni days and the "MTV2 face" which plagued all in the House of Death. I simply don't have time to be watching the drivel that constitutes much of TV these days. Sure I spend some time writing this blog, but it doesn't take over my life like TV used to. Plus if I didn't write this stuff down I might go wrong in the head brain.

So anyhoo, Isaac will grow up without TV. He is my little baby boy and that is what I think is best for him and his developing brain. We will instead be going on trips to different places and visiting different people and learning about life through doing, not watching. I was slightly concerned about how the no-TV will work when the girls come on their weekends as they are used to watching lots of TV. I recently explained to Aoife that I don't want Isaac to watch TV and why; she was quite interested and not at all bothered that it was turned off when he woke up from his nap. It seems to be something they do when he isn't around anyway because they love playing with him when he's up and about. Bring on the summer, better weather, longer days and outdoor frolics!

I'm very aware of the use of mobile phones around him. What he sees now and going forward will be accepted as the norm and I don't want him to think it's OK to be glued to a phone 24/7, because it isn't! We have a no phones at the table rule and I'm conscious of trying to not use mobiles around him. I'm also very aware of the use of computers. I try my best not to use one at all when he's around. This will obviously change as he gets older and starts to use technology himself. As he gets bigger and we're off out doing stuff then my use of the PC will diminish too I suppose. Not a bad thing. I value family time over anything. No amount of BBC news or failblog.org or blogging or Facebook can replace spending time with the ones you love. If it can, and I say this in all seriousness, there is something very, very wrong with you!!

So, in conclusion (if conclusions can be drawn from my disjointed & erratic waffle) - I'm aiming to raise a balanced, healthy boy without the distractions of cheap throwaway junk toys, TV or technology. Of course they will find a way into his life, but I'd rather it was at an acceptable time than hammering him with it from birth when it can affect his little brain and potentially mess him up before he's even started. I love him too much for that. I know that he will do what he wants and I can't force him to do what I want, but I can give him the best head start possible while he is still little and in my care. I hope you'll help me too?

Vegan dog biscuits!

As I'm gradually becoming more vegan I've been wondering recently if it was possible for a dog to eat a vegan diet. I've read quite a lot about it, as nutrition is not a subject to be taken lightly, and it seems that both cats and dogs can lead healthy, vegan lives. Here is a good place to start for a bit of a wake up call. There will be those of you who think it cruel not to give an animal meat based food, but seriously - have you read the ingredients list on the back of you canine friend's chow? Words like "derivative" do not appear on my food labels, so why should they appear on my furry baby's? Have you even thought about what it is and how it gets into that perfectly sealed plastic bag that so easily drops into your shopping trolley?

Over the past few weeks I've gradually changed Rinny's dog food to Yarrah - she wasn't so keen at first, but now we mix it with a little brewer's yeast in water and she loves it, more than her meaty dog food! This pleases me hugely because the ethics of the meaty dog food company are questionable. Yarrah's certifications and guarantees make me happy :-)

Anyhoo...les biscuits (please apply proper accent Français for maximum effect).

To replace Gravy Bones

To replace Markies

To replace Dentastix

I used the recipes in How It All Vegan. The quantities in the book made enough for about 2 weeks worth of each, which is doable for me, having a small baby and all. I was totally surprised at how easy they were to make and also how nutritionally balanced they are.  They're actually pretty tasty! Most importantly Rinny totally loves them. All. Lots. Two fantastic human benefits - they cost a whole lot less to make than buy AND considerably less doggie flatulence since implication of operation vegan-dog! No more nasal assaults! Or cries of "Rinny, you stinky-arsed bandit!" We hear them, but they just don't smell :-)

I'm so very glad that I'm able to provide freshly made, nutritious food for my whole family - hurrah!