Reflection

Attractive!

I was looking at the pictures of pregnant me the other day. It seems so long ago now. My goodness I was HUGE! MASSEEEEEEEEEEVE! It also seems very weird to think that the Wiggler (as he was then known) is the same Little Man that we hold so very dear today. I remember lying on our hotel room bed in Washington DC watching my belly move around and pop out as the Wiggler kicked and Wiggled around in there, wondering to whom I would give birth.

It's quite difficult for me to link the two and realise them as the same being. It's even more difficult for me to get my head around the fact that I actually grew him in my uterus, from scratch, and that he's perfect in every way. It's such a massive thing to comprehend - a truly justified use for the word awesome. It is awesome, though. Birth is awesome; the creation of life...is awesome. It fills one with awe [and wonder ;-)].

I watch him sometimes and marvel at the tiny veins in his skin, carrying his bloody around his circulatory system. I think about his gnashers growing in his mouth as we speak and then think about him speaking, which is a little weird for me just yet. I think about his digestive system and wonder if he'll choose to continue being vegan once he's old enough to decide. I think about his little lungs taking in oxygen and wonder if he'll ever smoke. I couldn't bear it if he did. I think I'd be indignant, that he would sully something so perfect. But then I would be a hypocrite, I'm sorry Mum. I think about his heart, pumping his blood around his body, carrying the oxygen from him lungs and the nutrients from the food he eats and the milk he drinks, all the time worrying that I'm not eating enough of/feeding him the right things to nourish him properly.

I didn't know what worry was until I had my Wiggler. I accept that I can only do my best and live in hope that it is good enough. Much will be up to him; when that time comes I must take a back seat and let him live as he chooses. I hope I can give him a balanced start and the love and encouragement he needs to be healthy and happy until he (maybe) has Wigglers of his own. Then he can learn what worry is :-D