Happy birthday Grandma

This lady right here is my Grandma, my Dad's Mum. I never got a chance to meet her and my Dad didn't know her for very long either; she died when he was seventeen. What a trauma for him! Imagine having your mother ripped away from you at a time in your life when you're still finding your feet. 

I think she has a beautiful face and I can see a lot of my father in her. I like her laughter lines and her lovely smile. I wonder what she was looking at when this picture was taken? I love the spots on her clothes and how dark her eyes are.

This is the only picture of her that I have and I've had it for a good few years now. She's been all over the country with me and has made me feel happy when I've looked at her. 

I wonder what she was like? Dad tells me that she would have loved me very much. I think I have her cheeks.

She would have been one hundred years old today. So happy birthday to you Grandma that I never met. I hope we do one day.

12 month musings

Dear Isaac

As I start to write this it is 11.09pm on Monday 6th September 2010. You are asleep upstairs in your cot. Daddy has gone to bed and Grandad has too. We've had a busy weekend, but I can't make myself tired or want to sleep just yet; my mind wanders back to this time last year. 

About now I'd be waiting for the hospital staff to take me into the operating theatre to deliver you. My eyes sting thinking about it. It was all such a blur. I was so tired after hours of being in labour. I kept crying then too and thinking, just focus on this minute, one minute at a time. It hadn't even dawned on me that I'd get to meet you! My womb occupant of the previous 42 weeks. I knew you were in there and that you were coming out, but never in a million years did I dream that you'd be who you are. 

You are amazing Little Man. From the first moment I saw you and you sneezed I was in love. In love with you my son, in love with being a Mother, in love with your Daddy for making you possible. I can honestly say it was the most surreal moment of my life, purely in a good way. I wanted to hold you so badly.

11.21pm now, getting closer. As anyone can see, you've changed my life completely. Definitely for the better. I know, deep down in my soul that I couldn't ever be the person I was before I met you. I wouldn't want to either - I'd feel I'd rejected your lessons in patience, love, tolerance, forgiveness, awareness, letting go... the list goes on. You've encouraged me to be stronger and to stick to what I believe is right.

Enough about me on your birthday. You've learned so much in your first year. Only the other day I was showing you that things exist even if you can't see them and you already knew! Your Daddy and I are very proud of you. We are especially proud of how well you've coped with growing teeth. You are such a brave Little Man and barely make a fuss if you are hurt or take a bump. 

11.32pm. I've just heard you on the monitor muttering something in your sleep; it's brought me out of my memories. Daddy and I love how you chatter away, even when you're doing something else that takes your concentration, you're such a happy little soul. You really do bring a ray of sunshine everywhere with you, even when you're asleep!

 11.41pm. I'm nervous now, watching the seconds tick by.

11.42pm. Here we are then, Isaac. Exactly one Gregorian calendar year since you breathed your first breath of atmosphere, since you sneezed and cried, since Daddy and I saw you and grinned like idiots.

Rest safe in the knowledge that Daddy and I will love you always because you are our son. Half me, half Daddy. We made you from scratch, just us, because we wanted you more than anything else.

Happy birthday darling. Here's to many more happy, wonderful, celebratory birthdays.

Love and so much more

Mummy

x

Rosh turns 4 and other weekend antics

This weekend, Roisin turned 4. We had planned to go camping, but the weather forecast was typically British (dubious as hell) so we reluctantly decided to stay home rather than make their first camping experience a soggy one. Gutted. Instead of sleeping in a tent outside, we put up the beach tent in their room, blew up one of the air mattresses and they slept in their sleeping bags which went down pretty well!

On Saturday I made strawberry milkshake which was a huge success

and Isaac scoffed a whole bowl of sweet potato wedges!

At the time I thought he was filthy, but looking back I think he did very well!

After lunch we went to a local farm where you can feed the animals. We've been before, but Isaac hadn't and the girls wanted to go...so we did! Isaac totally freaked out when we got there and didn't like the animals at all. Simon handed him back to me and he calmed down a bit. Poor Daddy. I can understand it though, huge noisy furry beasts that don't smell or sound like Rinny. I remember when Rinny was a puppy and every time she experienced something new she's run back & hide behind my legs. So I guess it's kind of the same thing with Isaac, apart from he's clearly not a dog. He spends the majority of his time with me so looks to me for reassurance. Bless his little lovely socks. Anyhoo...animal fear aside. The girls had a lovely time feeding the animals and looking at chickens, ducks, peacocks, rabbits, guinea pigs, donkeys etc. Although, apparently "that pig poo is disgusting" according to Roisin which amused a lady and her elderly mother standing close by no end!

The sheep were out in the fields this time, but the goats weren't complaining!

There was an old tractor for kids to climb on and play with too.

On the way home Roisin (whilst looking at a map) won the award for quote of the weekend,  which goes as follows:

Roisin: "That's Zombie Island!"

Sarah: "Zombie Island?! What's on Zombie Island?"

Roisin: "Ghosts."

(!)

On Sunday morning Roisin opened her presents and cards (the cake was had after tea)

while Isaac played peekaboo with his sweater

The girls played on their bikes for a while (Rosh's was our birthday present) and *helped* us do some gardening. We were going to go to a pub near the campsite (The Bull's Head in Monyash) for lunch had we gone camping, so we went to a local one instead and had a veggie carvery followed by incredibly naughty puddings - yum! Then we went to Toys R Us for Rosh to spend some of her birthday money from Nanna & Grandad Steven.

It's always so incredibly quiet when they go back to their Mum's house on Sunday evening. I felt a bit deflated this time; I miss them when they go home.

Despite not going camping we all had a lovely weekend. If we don't manage to sleep under canvas before, we're going to the Just So Festival which should blow the girlies minds and be a memorable camp at any rate  :-)